We start off innocent enough, with the genie in disguise ahead of some camels and White Persian Monkeys, some Janbiya wielders and so forth marching towards the palace.

Attack of the Clones

My first question is; where did these people come from? There are hundreds at this point already. The show implies that the genie created them, rather than going around for weeks on a hiring campaign, months training and rehearsing for this upcoming event. If they were realistically gathered, Jafar would have long married Princess Jasmine and Aladdin would be wasting his time.

So they came from magic? This raises some deep, philosophical issues. There are two ways I can see the creation of these humans being

1: The brainless zombies

The Genie could have simply sprung them into existence with nothing but instructions build into their otherwise empty minds, and like robots with an expiration date, their demise comes as soon as their duties for the song are complete. Do they maintain a sentient, intelligent brain? Do they feel pain when disposed of? The mindless

2: The brained zombies

Alternatively, they could be legitimate humans, yet lacking any childhood or family. If this is the case, what are they to do once the song is complete? They presumably have no ID registered, nor any education or skills outside of performing a single epic performance. Are they to contribute to Agrabah's unemployment and homeless statistics? Are they to be cast out to starve to death without any hope of welfare? Sure, they seem happy now, but when their lack of abilities or experience functioning in a modern society become apparent, nothing but misery will follow.

Now, later in the video you do see some skilled characters, including fakirs, cooks and bakers. But the Genie apparently took the lazy approach with these men and decided to simply clone a single design dozens of times:

I don't need to go in depth here about the ethical dilemmas with cloning, but at least even with our modern concept of cloning, a couple can grow individually through variable environmental factors like any twin, but these men were brought into existence as established adults; identical in every way.

The problems with free will and Individualism are things that should not be up to the Genie to decide. But hey who cares, Aladdin needs a babe.

Regarding the Common Man

Slavery was already big in Agrabah, but the Genie and Aladdin take this to... A Whole New World of suffering, with a complete disregard for the consequences of their actions.

The Genie starts off banging people's bellies and swinging people around without their consent, and even forcefully putting a man into a wheelbarrow position and running him around.

This poor and clearly weak man is then rammed heartlessly into more unsuspecting men - head first - where they are made to balance on each others' shoulders. Each man looks on average about 80kg and this compounds on the men below, so the man at the top may have it easy, but the man two parts below has to carry 160kg.

In this shot we see 8 men stacked atop each other, but the lowest man is already as high as the elephant's head - and this is no ordinary elephant (more on that later). So we can conservatively say that small, wheelbarrowed man is burdened with at least 12 men of 80kg: 960kg! That's about the weight of a large Walrus. And do not estimate the size of a large walrus.

_Source

Now, you could argue that Genie used his magic to allow this to happen painfully. But I find this unlikely, given the evidence. A little later, Genie grabs two men by surprise and crushes their necks:

You can see this having fatal consequences from their eyes, which are clearly going through signs of petechial hemorrhaging from the rupture of capillaries in their eyes. This phenomenon can happen when a person is being strangled creating extreme hypertension.

You see, it's easier to block the flow of blood leaving your head than it is to block the blood going up into it, causing a severe buildup - an evolutionary trait dependent on gravity for the passive release of blood from the top of your head. This extreme Hypertension could lead to instantaneous stroke or worse. But then again they might already be dead or permanently paralysed from the broken neck so there's a positive perhaps.

Nice one, Genie.

Given his brutal approach to humanity, I find it therefore unreasonable to suggest he was looking out for the wheelbarrow guy when piling on a walrus of mass on his neck. He's likely dead at this point.

Further in, the people boast of Aladdin's collection of 75 golden camels:

Each golden camel is roughly the size of a human, of which there are two carrying each one. I don't know if you've ever held gold, but it is a dense metal. It's also alarmingly expensive.

_Pixabay

Now, the standardized weight of a Gold Bullion bar is 12.4kg internationally and comes with a price tag of $506,400. Additionally, each bar is, roughly speaking, about 7 x 3 x 2 inches. If we look at the above picture, we can get a rough estimate that they are about 50 x 15 x 30 inches, and so we can extrapolate that each camel likely weighs about the equivalent of 500 gold bars (taking away mass due to the shape of the hump and slender neck), or 6,200kg, with a value of $253,200,000 at current prices.

FOR EACH CAMEL

Remember, he has 75 of them, meaning Genie has invested $18,990,000,000 into golden camels alone. I checked online for a second opinion, and according to this website, they put the camels at a little under $2 billion, but they calculated things based on the size and density of a camel, not the density of gold and its size in the screenshot, so I believe mine is more accurate.

The website briefly covers other expenses Genie has presumably monopolized on, including:

• 53 purple peacocks, going at $14,000
• 60 elephants hitting half a million dollars
• At least $100,000 on llamas, and so on.

But what about the men carrying those camels? Well, the current world record for weightlifting goes to Alexey Lochev, who lifted 264kg. Two of the strongest men in the world could life 500kg, compared to these Genie-made clones, struggling with 6,200kgs a piece. This is a system of slavery enforcing a catch 22 situation of impossibility. Yet they somehow manage to overcome it while maintaining a facial expression of peace; presumably the muscles in the face were disabled in Genie's black magic process.

The Genie of Dr Moreau

I would be remiss if I didn't discuss the blatant cruelty of the animals from the zoo and so forth, but aside from the obvious, I take issue with one in particular: Abu.

Abu can be seen peacefully masquerading as an elephant, but transforming into an elephant would have significant consequences, including the brain's capacity to function under such stress of a sizeable body - unless you change the brain, in which case, is Abu still really abu?

But more concerningly, this isn't actually an elephant and likely some freakish experiment Genie had been working on deep within his sick, 'Dr Moreau'-style mind. For a start, it's gigantic, bigger than any similar animals in history that we know of.

Compare the size of this Palaeoloxodon namadicus, which boasted 24 tons of body and a 16-feet height at the shoulders:

_Source

With Abu:

Even if those women on top had a tiny stature, it would still make Abu amount to around 8 metres tall. And he's bulbous. Almost spherical mass. This puts Abu more in line with a young Oliphaunt from Lord of the Rings, which can reach at least 11 metres in height. But in our world, we know elephants can't get that big due largely to the limitations in critical volume and the plight of gravity; this is why whales had to move into the oceans before they could become whales. Oliphaunts live in middle earth where presumably the laws of physics work somewhat differently.

But Abu isn't an Oliphaunt. The main two pieces of evidence here are the distinct lack of tusks, and the forward facing eyes.

To achieve these features, Genie must have created some terrible experiments. In David Attenborough's recent documentary 'Attenborough and the Giant Elephant', the removal of the tusks can cause significant social and psychological problems for elephants, as well as causing life-threatening infections that I doubt Genie would have bothered to treat.

The eyes make me think back to the H.G. Well's novel 'The Island of Dr. Moreau', in which he takes various animals a part and stitches them together again to make sentient monstrosities from pigs, felines and so on, all in the name of sick, sick humanity.

The gigantic size may have come from stitching together two fully grown elephants, removing the tusks and giving it a monkey's brain and eyes. This should serve its purpose temporarily but due to the square-cube law, muscle and bone will quickly collapse and shatter based on the measly strength of their cross-sectional area trying to carry the cubed volume of the elephant. There is a critical mass - about the size of a large elephant - where bones, organs and muscles just cannot function.

Cruelty Beyond Words

Looking at the regular 60 elephants in Aladdin's new collection, we see a performance where a lot of them are balanced on 3 poor llamas who somehow manage to balance together on three balls on top of each other:

I count 20, a full third of his collection pulling off this trick. This is a more extreme version of the earlier situation where Genie forced a single man to hold a Walrus of mass atop his head.

But, given the average African Elephant weight of a little under 6,000kg, those llamas have to collectively share the weight of 117,920kg, or 130 tons - All on the tiny surface area of a single elephant's foot. It's frankly astonishing they managed to stand at all, let alone with such prowess of balance.

Finally, to put a final nail in the coffin of humanity, Genie shoves an outrageous number of birds in a cage, as if trying to run the most exotic battery farm, claiming their only purpose is to 'warble on key':

_{They do not look happy...except that yellow one on the right for some reason}

Mufasa vs Genie

In my last episode, I showed the plentiful evidence that Mufasa was the true enemy of the state; an evil dictator throwing his own brother to the hyenas in a chemically toxic, volcanically active region of darkness for little more than trying to make sure nobody would ever go hungry again. But this pales in comparison to the capability of evil contained withing Genie.

Not only is Genie showing psychopathic tendencies towards humans and all other animals alike, but his potential to manipulate magic with ease makes my spine tingle with terror.

And to think Aladdin freed him from his shackles. I'm glad I never got round to watching the second movie. Who knows what travesties were unleashed upon the world.

Thanks for reading! And be careful what you wish for!

All images screenshots under fair use unless otherwise noted

Convenient Delegation Links: