One of the important topics that I have been meditating on is the way we move away from things, situations or places that are not beneficial for us, I complemented this analysis with the book of the famous psychologist Walter Risso where he writes how we can detach without anesthesia, not proscrambling , act in the correct time and space.
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Who has not suffered or still suffers in vain from being hooked on things or people that take away their strength and desire to live? Who has never gotten involved with irrational thoughts, creating False safety signals and then discovered the useless or dangerous of their actions? The fundamental strategy that leads to emotional well-being is to discover what one does not need and get rid of it, as a dog does when it leaves the water and try to dry. Set aside what is left over, disengage and say goodbye with the wisdom of those who have understood what does not suit them. See what it is without self-deception, although it disturbs the dreamers and makes us mismatch for a while.
Some people think that being "detached" is not wanting or needing anything, overriding personal goals and having no hobbies of any kind. Nothing is more wrong: being detached is not being half dead. As the Buddhist Ricard Matthieu says referring to affective dependence: 9 "Not being attached does not mean that we want less to a person, but that we are not worried about the relationship ...". That's the key: carefreeness and absence of anxiety, no matter what or with whom the link is. Detachment is based on a "philosophy of detachment," which is nothing more than an attempt to be psychologically freer.
With the passage of time I have realized that the only attachment we must have is attachment to Christ, it is written: "I am the vine, you are the branches, he who abides in me, and I in him, he bears much fruit because apart from me you can do nothing. "
A Christian sister told me that she was years fighting to recover something that had been taken from her, and she was going to recover it, it is not wrong to do it, only that sometimes it is necessary to let go of what we think we are taken from, to leave it in the past to receive the new.
I have always been very dreamy, sometimes I have fallen in love with work, I have achieved goals, I have felt that I have given everything and suddenly, it has happened that the vision has been distorted, everything has become contaminated and that dream does not belong to me, then the healthiest thing is to detach without anesthetics, I do not mean to leave a job bounced, or break what has already been agreed, refers to the detachment of the soul, the heart, our life.
We must know that as children of God, we have a purpose to fulfill and that destiny if you have your eyes on the source Jesus Christ is going to fulfill, in spite of what others do, many people think that God is publicity, God is God above all things and never retracts.
Once I felt that God entrusted me with a task and I was doing it but on the way I found myself face to face with our enemy Satan and the people he uses to stop God's plans, and I can not really deny that I was surprised by the fall of how she acted, as a human I was disappointed, I cried, but one dawn God spoke to me and I still remember these words:
Darlenys, the enemy has come against you, but I, the God of heaven is the one with you, from this moment that work is going to dry up because I will make it not prosper because of what they practice evil, and so It happened, and what little remains will be until you are there, because when you leave everything will be over.
Despite these words I continued in that place for a moral commitment, but my heart was no longer there, I had detached without anesthetics in my spirit and my soul, the last thing is to go physically.
When God is with us, blessings will persecute us, God's plans do not depend on men, depends on the favor and power of the highest.
This is simply the language of Goodbye, it will always be wise to make decisions under the perfect will of God, before time passes the bill of oblivion.
That is why Jesus said: to the one who asks you for the robe, leave him also the cloak, I have no attachment but for Christ.
We are dependent on an object or a person when we think: "If I lose it or I can not get it, my life will not make sense". And we are emancipated (autonomous) or detached people, when we think: "If I achieve what I want, I will enjoy it while I have it, but if I lose it or I can not get it, it will not be the end of the world or life will end, even if it hurts » In the detachment I go on, I do not get depressed or let myself down for the loss, I just keep going.
(Walter Riso)
What defines attachment is not so much the desire but the inability to renounce it at the right time, and we could say that such renunciation must be carried out if the link is harmful to the mental health and / or personal well-being of the world. and the people around us.
We all seek happiness and have a full life, free of suffering. And we all use each of our resources to achieve it.
This is applicable to each of the facets of our life, from sentimental to professional. All of them are important for our happiness. Tell me, if not, how is it possible to be happy if you are suffering emotionally? Or how is it possible to be happy if you do not feel fulfilled and fulfilled in your work?
However, until you understand and apply detachment in your life, nothing will change.
In fact, it may be that the pursuit of happiness itself is preventing you from reaching it.
When you live from detachment, your vision of the world changes, it is as if you were born again
Your body and your mind always seek safety and survival. This will cause stores to accumulate money, to have an orderly and routine life, to look for a stable job, a comfortable car, a convenient relationship ...
Your soul, however, always seeks evolution, learning and new experiences. If you listen to it, it will always ask you to make that great trip, that you run the risk of changing jobs or creating your own company, that you start new studies, that you go abroad, that you commit madness for love, that you help your neighbor , that you love without limits or excuses ...
You are not your ego or your character. Your character is the mental manifestation (innate or acquired) that you use by default to interact with the world when you are disconnected from your Essence.
The ego makes you cling to everything that keeps you in your comfort zone. And, to achieve this, he uses all his followers: fear, dependence, laziness, insecurity ...
If your true nature is spiritual, that is, if you identify more with your soul than with your body or your mind, you will know that your purpose in life is also spiritual.
You have come to this world to learn, to evolve, to improve and to help others and the world around us. For this, you will use, of course, physical means, because you are in a physical world and you have a physical body. But your nature and your purpose remain spiritual.
Happiness is like a butterfly, if you chase it away from you, but if you sit down and relax, it ends up posing on your shoulder. " (Viktor Frankl)
Attachment-of the verb to attach-is synonymous with clinging, tying and even establishing dependence or obsession with something or someone.
When you get attached to an object, idea, activity or person, you end up generating strong links with them. So strong that you can become addicted to them.
And, when you're addicted to something, your life ends up turning around that addiction. You are willing to do everything to not let go of that object, activity or person. You do everything in your power to stay with them and nurture the bonds that bind you.
WHAT DO WE ADD TO THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES?
Throughout our lives we are attached to many things, so many that it is easy to find examples with which, almost certainly, you will feel identified.
We stick to certain friendships when we are children. So much so that the fear of separating ourselves from them can condition our decisions, from our studies to our future place of residence.
We are attached to a platonic love. So much that we spent hours thinking about her (or him), how we will conquer her and how a future life will be together. Finally, if we are not reciprocated, we end up feeling sad, frustrated and disappointed.
We stick to a stable job that allows us to survive doing something we do not like. So much so that we are able to spend a lifetime doing it while we let go of our happiness, our dreams and our aspirations.
We are attached to a couple. So much so that sometimes, even when we feel that the relationship is toxic for us, we continue with it out of fear of loneliness and fear of never finding someone who loves us.
Detachment is the antithesis of attachment.
It is the ability to let go. To surrender To let life and the universe follow its course freely. It is the ability to flow with reality instead of going against the current. It is knowing how to accept the things that you can not change and let them go.
Not saying, far from it, that you stop fighting. On the contrary, you have to keep giving everything, at all times. You have to continue pursuing your goals and your dreams. You have to work hard for what you want, and you should never give up your projects and dreams.
But you must be able to do it without getting attached, without clinging, without obsessing, without becoming addicted and, of course, without suffering.
Darlenys thank you for sharing your experience. In agreement with you that we must leave behind our discomforts and direct our gaze to the risen Christ.God Bless you.