Researchers at University of Illinois, Chicago recently released study results showing the most popular reasons for going to the gym:
- 48% "To justify eating junk food."
- 39% "To help get laid."
- 5% "To stare at the women."
- 4% "To feel good."
- 3% "Free pizza at Planet Fitness."
- 1% "Other."
Our team went out in search of these people to get a first-hand perspective. At a nearby health club, we spoke to a local resident who was a part of that 48%.
Tim Dainio, a long-time Miami resident, told our reporter I hated that I could never find an excuse to hit the gym. But on the rare occasion when I worked out, I’d see people eating salads and shit by the juice bar. I’d tell them: “Dude, you don’t need to workout if you’re on the hamster diet! You’re already skinny.”
They'd utter some nonsense to me like:
Eating healthy isn't just about looking good, I do it so I can live a long and healthy life. So I wake up every morning feeling great and have energy throughout the day. I do it so I can see my children and grandchildren grow up and get married.
Yeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that.
In 2017 I'm making a resolution to eat a metric crap ton of unhealthy food, so I actually have a reason to work out. I refuse to be fake and pretend that I'm working out because I care about friends and family. I'm doing it for me. I'm doing it because I enjoy drinking Mountain Dew and eating Cheetos while watching Storage Wars marathons.
Tim went on to say: My wife starts sleeping around when my body passes the 200 lb. mark, so I plan to keep that 198 lb. mediocre "dad bod" figure. Some individuals try to tell me I'm not "in shape," but to these meddlesome people I say, 'round IS a shape.'
P.S. There's something hidden within this post. I'll send 20 STEEM to the first person to point out this particular thing.
HINTS:
I'll add more hints after some time passes. If no one guesses correctly, I'll split the 20 STEEM between every commenter.
seriously, no one got this? im an idiot and even i noticed it right away (CWIDT)
We have a winner! The interviewee's name in the piece, Tim Dainio, is an anagram for "im an idiot".
@shenanigator the link/credit of the video source?
It's a direct link to the source. Click on the video, then click again on the title in the top-left or click on "youtube" in the bottom-right corner. That will bring you to the source.
@shenanigator Darn I thought it was that ..reading again or someone has already guessed it
is it the 'shit"?
Ah, I thought you were asking me to give credit to the video source. Someone already got it.
@shenanigator no :D
Any more hints? I can't find anything hidden in the text. I really liked your writing. It reads like a classic Onion article.
I appreciate that. Just added a hint.
Dude you've got me stumped
Is it that Tim Dainio is an anagram for main idiot or anti idiom?
No, but you're very close!
close.... though for the record, its not very fair because of the apostrophe
True, that could throw people off. But, I believe it also prevents people from getting the answer with anagram software.
I sometimes like to count my reps in chips.
Along with some 12oz curls?
Precisely. Don't forget the 'dips'.
Lol
I believe every bit of that! I know me personally I would say, ok the more I work out the more crap I can eat... and when I was 17 that was true. Now at 30, I have to start actually worrying about working out AND watching what I eat... ugh. This was very funny btw :)
I can totally relate. At 29 I need to eat healthy and work out to avoid gaining fat.
LOL, awesome article, Shenanigator! Even though I didn't find this particular thing!!
Upvoted & Followed you as well.
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the support!
Surely you can combine the 48% with the 3%
Touché.
That depends... is it vegetable pizza? ;)
Unless I'm missing something, is the hidden thing the fact the researchers of the Illinois university asked locals about exercising in Miami?
That or the 3% pizza thing that @demotruk already mentioned.
I could've been clearer regarding these details, but this is supposed to be written by a Miami newspaper. It just so happens that they're reporting on a study from a Chicago university.
Neither yours nor @demotruk's is the thing I'm looking for.
Very funny satire regardless. :)
I think humor will be the big thing in Steemit, actually.
Thanks. Agreed, I think it will be big as well.
Is it... the letter 'j'? :-D
It is... not ;)
Grasping, but
You use ' instead of ", like you do elsewhere in the post.
Good guess. That's something I should be consistent with, but no, it's nothing grammatical.
This is hard. Still looking. Is it that this study is obviously native advertising for Planet Fitness.
Or is it the piece of chocolate cake... (maybe everyone sees that lol)
Haha, good guess, but it's not either of those.
Is the hidden thing... that this post is a demonstration of how much more engagement a post gets when there is a dedicated reward pool (20 STEEM) for commenters to compete for? ;)
Haha That's a good point, but not what I'm looking for.
I feel that way after the gym. I do give myself more liberties like my crack cocaine addition to Flaming Hot Cheetos. Free pizza at the gym? Hmm...
Yes, free pizza on the first Monday of the month at Planet Fitness!
Hmmm. That sounds like a good deal. Makes it easy to have lunch ready when leaving the gym.
Free pizza?!
Ha yes, only at planet fitness.
Haha! I go to the gym because I want to lift some crazy shiat. Yeah, these are some crazy statistics, lol. :)
You must be in that 1% "other" ;)
I am :)
I also like watching Storage Wars marathons but I like Star Wars marathons even more. Perhaps they have more in store than the Storage Wars marathons.