It has been a while since I posted something here on steemit. I’ve been busy finding a job coz me and my family really needs support so I’ve been away for more than a week. Lol! I don’t know what to write too. Maybe I might write something about him. I wanted to forget but I guess I just can’t. What to do.. So this is it.
Dear yu,
Have you ever felt every pain when you’re trying to hide what you feel? Every time you see them, you always thought to yourself that you don’t give a fudge but you get hurt. You always think of someone and hoping that he really sets his eyes on you but never did. Maybe that’s the reason I’m not seeking somebody else to love coz all this time, I’ve been waiting for you even though my labors will be in vain but I still do. It never vanished or never even faded. I didn’t know that I would felt this way no matter what people talk about you. How they told stuffs about you in me. Guess it never really matter because I’ve been deeply inlove. That’s what I thought and that’s what I really think of now.
I wish I could read your mind coz in that way, I’d know if I’d continue or I’ll stop. I wish you could tell me what you feel so I won’t expect anything anymore. I wish I could get you out of my mind in a day, a day where there’s “no thinking of you day”. I wish you won’t give me false hope by letting me feel wanted but I know it’s never what I thought. I wish you could tell me that I needed to stop coz you’re sick of me. I’m trying to ignore you but I guess I can’t. I don’t know if I can find a will to do it. I just can’t.. :(
I’ve been hurt, yes and I wish I could get hurt more to realize that you’re not for me. I knew from the start but I’m still pushing myself to you in which I shouldn’t have. I can’t have you and it’s sad. And starting from now, I’d stop writing you letters coz it’s a waste of time. You never really read those too. It’s never sent to you either. I needed to stop not because I have no love anymore but I guess I’m too tired already. Tired of thinking that there’ll be hope but it’s like waiting for a rain in summer day, it’s a one in a millionth chance and it’s dismaying, heart breaking and eye tearing. I won’t wish that I’d move on but instead I’ll pray for it. Guess praying weighs more than just wishing on the stars that He just creates. I pray that I will have the will to stop and maybe I will. One day I will. But in all of this, you’re not the one to be blamed coz you’re just someone I love. I just need to know my limits and I know I will someday. If ever you questioned why I disappeared in an instant in your life, I hope you could read this but I don’t think you’ll ever noticed it anyways. I’ll cut it through before it gets worse. Goodbye.
truly,
kjc