My sad story - My husband could not forgive me

After writing my story as I did not appreciate the love and care of her husband, I was advised to contact her ex-husband and talk. After all, the main thing is that I realized everything. And in fact in the soul of everyone there is a hope that maybe, at least something will change.

But everything, like any given program, has its logical conclusion - the final. Some time after I wrote a story, I still decided to clarify the situation by sending an SMS to my ex-husband, with a direct question: "Did I understand correctly that this is the end?". But I never received an answer! After all, we decided, no matter what, try and not part. But I think all the bad things that I did to him, still burn it, and I think he took revenge for me in this way. It does not make sense to knock on the closed door. The most difficult thing is to experience a feeling of emptiness. I understand with my mind that everything that happened is my fault. And subconsciously I expect from him a call, which will never be.

I've offended him too much, trampled on his feelings many times. And now, when I want to fix everything, he does not want to. As the law of meanness. But this time he left. He just got tired of living and believing that something will change. I tried to change my character, but what happened between us, will always stand between us. His limit of patience burst, and he left without any clarification of the relationship. He left me. But I'm not angry with him, I myself made efforts to this. Did not appreciate it. And now having realized everything, it's too late. What a pity that life can not be turned back. Two years ago, I could fix everything. It's so hard for me to live with this load. With the realization that she destroyed happiness with her own hands, her family. I betrayed a man who loved me and wanted to build a family with me.

To me of 25 years, like young, all life ahead. And in my heart I feel like an 80-year-old woman. After all that has happened, I can not cope with emotions. Tears themselves flow from the eyes, from helplessness and despair before this situation. It hurts that he broke his life. After all, he could live his life with a man who would give him a family, and a child. Two years is not a long time, but still in the shower I feel guilty before everything that happened. I'm really sorry about what I did. Conscience woke up late. Someone says that it's never too late, but believe me, it's too late. And it is not necessary anymore. He just does not need my apologies and remorse.