It's OK not to believe - welcome to the world of the agnostics, who are the majority in the western world.
Have you managed to get medical help for your bi-polar? Religion might not work, but science frequently does. Take care
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I have gotten help for my mental disorders. I am not entirely happy with it, but my bi-polar medicine seems to work. At least, if I come off of it I go into a manic or depressive episode. Science is cool, and I still believe that something is out there, but I am just not sure how to express it. If that makes me agnostic, then so be it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!