There are all these rules that we were born into and somehow, the forces have been binding on us whether we accept it or not, whether it aligns with our true nature or not. One of these rules is the one binding on men and women in sexual relationships. This rule is known as monogamy. It states that a male and female human being must be dedicated to one sexual partner during the period of the relationship. As much as this rule seem like a noble idea, I think it is unfair and infringing on the rights of human beings who are inherently free moral agents. Why should any one person or group of persons, sit at a corner of their desk and mull over such an idea and then impose it on others as the perfect rule of engagement for sexual partners?
I find it ridiculous.
Researches show some ethnographic evidence that suggest that human nature is adapted to an ancestral mating system that was predominately polygamous (one husband, multiple wives). Women were even more comfortable being the co-wife of a strong man than be the sole wife of a second rated man. This explains to a satisfactory level that man- male and female- were not born with the innate desire to be monogamous. These findings also reveal that monogamy is an imported idea that gained significance through modern religion, civilization and evolution. It was not so from the beginning of time. In fact, social monogamy in humans dates back to just about 1000 years ago which makes it a relatively new idea compared to the number of years anthropologists say humans have been in existence on planet earth. This means that, not everyone human has evolved into the reality of monogamy as a social norm. Why then should it be forced down our throats?
Personally, I believe that monogamy is one big lie and at best, an attempt by man to try to control nature. I would not have any argument with this societal arrangement, if only people, those who cannot keep up with this lie are given the option of handling their sexual relationships on their own terms instead of forcing us all to abide by rules that run contrary to our very nature without having to deal with the turned up noses of society. I know there are people who are born polygamous in nature- I for one think I am a member of that population. These people would forever keep struggling to hold a monogamous relationship together because it has been made the standard.
Just like gays have a right to express love to whom they choose, I am of the opinion that people who do not find monogamy part of an ideal relationship goal, be allowed to set the rules that suites them as long as it’s an agreement between both partners and they both are comfortable and happy in it. Nobody should be made to conform to society’s expectations of faithfulness.
I strongly advocate for polyamory – the practice of having more than one sexual partner with the knowledge and consent of all sexual partners. I believe it is the answer to sexual partners having to deal with cheating and unnecessary heartbreaks that come with discovering ones monogamous relationship has been a sham all along.
However, human monogamy will forever remain what it is- a LIE!
I think monogamy has value, particularly for providing a stable environment for raising children, but I've also begun to think it's overrated as well.
One thing I find incredibly interesting is seeing what the bible has to say on the subject, since that's widely believed to be the source of the moral outrage at non-monogamy. As it turns out, the bible says remarkably little about it, and never explicitly states that monogamy is the only moral sexual relationship.
In fact, I am confident that the bible does not say that sex is only legitimate within the bounds of marriage (though I'm sure modern christians will label me a heretic for saying as much). It does condemn adultery, which makes sense: one should honor his commitments; it points out that there is a proper time and a place for sex, and abusing it is unhealthy...
In 1 Corinthians, Paul argues for monogamy, but the attitude of this passage is not one of laying out basic moral law, but rather one of a wise mentor advocating restraint to a specific audience in a specific situation. I could elaborate further, but the long and short of it is that most of what modern christianity teaches about sexual morality is on shaky biblical footing at best; I personally think polyamory is within the bounds of biblical morality.
I realize that most people don't care about biblical morality, but the bible has a lot of good advice, and I think it warrants some consideration even if you don't accept it as axiomatically true (which I do not) as most modern christians do.
Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines and is considered the wisest man to have ever lived. Nuff said.
It was wise in past to go out hunting with these...
Guess what! Now it isn't anymore...
There's a reason Solomon had so many wives and concubines - he was playing the numbers. Having over a thousand women available meant that on any given day he had an almost 50% chance of finding one in a good mood.
LOVE IT. VERY TRUE.
Secondly, any man with that many wives surely had a lot of problems do deal with, the wisest thing would be to have as few as possible.
Totally agreed. Imagine having 30 mothers is law. It's hard enough to tolerate one.
Actually I thought Socrates was considered the wisest man that ever lived, because he knew what he did not know.
Surely because he knew that he did not know.
Socrates on matrimony: "By all means get married. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher!"
Solomon gets my upvote x2000
Wise man detected @themagus
Observant @fulltimegeek !!
lol great argument!
My brotha solomon must of had the mojo of a freakin stead.
"One thing I find incredibly interesting is seeing what the bible has to say on the subject, since that's widely believed to be the source of the moral outrage at non-monogamy."
...I guess somebody havent noticed amount of mayhem divorces cause in life of children as well ...
... or toxic relationships that are held together just because of societal pressures
... haven't noticed how harmful can be serial monogamy that is result of status quo ...
... and havent bothered to research about interesting facets of polyamorous relationships raising children ...
... but hey, throwing own preconceptions as only possible truth is so much easier ...
(btw, chrome spellcheck doesnt even know word "polyamorous" ... nuff said)
Interestingly, the Bible only punishes adultery with a married woman. That is, if a married woman commits adultery she's punished. If a man sleeps with a married woman, they are both punished. However there are no instances where a married man sleeping with an unmarried woman is punished!
I'd argue that a stable environment with more people involved could be healthy for a child. It would be like being raised by a mom, a dad, and some aunts and uncles. If the relationship between everyone was harmonious it could work.
And yeah, the bible is most definitely not against polygamy. Didn't King Solomon have over 1000 wives and concubines?
Sure, no doubt more people can be a good thing. I've talked about it with children of polyamorous parents, and my impression is that parents having multiple partners isn't a problem as long as it's all in the open, and the core mother/father pair remains intact. I think the research backs this up too (at least, that a core mother/father pair is ideal), as does common sense if one considers it in comparison with possible alternatives.
Indeed, the bible doesn't condemn polygamy (which is not the same as polyamory, I note), but it also seems to indicate that it's not the optimal state of affairs. I think the bible treats polygamy as an acceptable solution to a bad situation; not a scenario to be sought out.
Actually Paul argues most vociferously for celibacy, and only defers to monogamy as a last resort for those who cannot remain celibate.
1 Corinthians 1:18
Sure, free love.
Then children.
What then?
I await your answer.
Yours truly,
A married man of 24 years, who can't figure out how free love, as much as he might want to partake of it, wouldn't destroy his family and, if adopted by a sufficient number of others, civilization.
amen. Seems like a philosophy for rabbits that do not value family or civilization very much.
Having kids will definitely change the relationship between the biological parents. It creates a bond deeper than ever as they now (hopefully) have a shared goal of raising another human being. Any two people having sex should have a plan in place for pregnancy.
If a woman has multiple, polyamorous partners then perhaps the father is unknown. The main thing a child needs is a role model not a "father". I grew up without my father but I had other families and men in my life to show me exemplary behavior, caring for others, honesty, confidence etc. If one of the men is a "primary" partner then perhaps he takes on the father role. There is no reason that other loving and caring men in the child's life will do harm. Watching positive interaction, caring, and cooperation between their "father" and the other man or men can only be a good thing.
In the opposite case where a man has multiple partners the same applies (except of course the mother is definitely known). Other loving women assisting cant be a bad thing.
In the case where 2 men and 2 women are a group (or some other mixed arrangement) all of them may take on some of the parental roles. Since our society is so structured as to require a "mother" and "father" (for school and other friends) it is likely 2 of them will be the "official" parents on paper. I read a story about such a group (2m 2f) but the shape of their relationship was more of a line than a box with a cross in the middle. So the two in the middle got married but would have liked to include an other woman in the marriage as she was equally a mother (just not biologically).
Personally I think the more a child is interacting with humans and not sitting in front of the television the better. To raise a child really well takes an enormous, extended, loving effort and this will only be easier with more than 2 people.
The polyamorous idea of "compersion" or happiness at the happiness of others leads me to think that anyone properly practicing polyamory in an open and honest way would only be glad to be a part of raising the child of one their partners.
This isn't just a fantasy dream, people actually do this. The idea of the "nuclear" family is very new, in ancient times children were breastfed by whomever could do it, raised by a small close-knit community brought ever closer by the task of raising an awesome human.
I can guarantee you the person that wrote the original post is under 30. I can sympathize since I recall how stupid and foolish I was when I was that age.
What is the lie? What is being imposed on you? Sorry, not seeing it. Nothing wrong with monogamy if that is what you and the one you are with want. Nothing wrong with polyamory if that is what you and the ones you are with want.
Of course nothing is imposed on you ... as long as you dont mind doing jail time when you will get caught living with two wives ...
(yes, i mean some states of "land of the free" ... but not free from Victorian era prudishness)
(and to add insult to injury ... even if you do not officially marry anybody ... just living long enough under one roof might make law treat you like married anyway ... unless you do extra legalwork ... isnt that awesome!)
(and want to bet how quickly children would be taken away form parents after first "helpful tip to Child Protective Services" ... shudder)
I am not gonna mention how this situation wrecks havoc with ability of polyamorous families deal with medical and financial situations ... because that would deserve own rant of epic proportions.
"Nothing being imposed?" - would be good joke if not so cruel.
Black and Homosexual movements were all up in arms and demonstrating over orders of magnitude lesser infractions on ability to live their own livestyle.
I think you are confusing polyamory with polygamy.
And you see nothing wrong with disallowing polyamorous relationships to practice polygamy and raising kids?
"I dont mind couples practicing monogamous love, they are free to do as they prefer ... as long as they are forbidden from marrying and raising the family."
Such a freedom!
Exactly ! I agree @jsteck . Do what works best for your relationship and fullfillment @crazynotned
If monogamy makes you miserable you probably will attrackt a partner who thinks like you anyways. Good luck ! I never felt the urge to have sex with somebody else other than the one I truly love and respect. Why would I want to break a deep soul connection in exchange of physical pleasure? If you are in a mature relationship you will find ways to keep it interesting.
You assume you cant love and respect more than one person.
Feel free to "no true scotsman" out of that one to your heart delight.
I do not assume anything for anybody. I actually know myself very well and can love bigger than you could even imagine . I respect many but that doesn't mean I have to fuck everybody especially if I made a commitment to walk through periods in life with one only . I am the first who let it be , if it doesn't work out but it would be too confusing to have too many hormonal driven men around me . I could deal with more women if they would inspire me enough and do the laundry ( just kidding )
"I do not assume anything for anybody" ... aaand then assumes about powers of my imagination in next sentence...
... and not gonna point out all those straw-men that were thrown my way, because i'm afraid of hay fire ...
Multiple sexual partners is absolute destruction for a modern family unit that's trying to raise kids. Polyamory is fantastic otherwise - for the right people. And the right people have to a very high levels of self esteem, be very comfortable with their body image and be able to deal maturely with inevitable feelings of attachment and jealousy. Unfortunately modern western life seems to raise very shallow and insecure people so polyamory ends in a train wreck more often than not - it is a one way trip for the vast majority of relationships. My experiences have led me to believe polyamory is a great fit for a very small minority and not something that is socially sustainable on any large scale... which is probably why we have evolved away from it.
That said, your article sounds somewhat academic. Do you actively practice polyamory in your current relationship?
I'm happy with one person as is my husband, really couldn't cope with another one
The question is, what if your husband wanted to have more wife? Would u object to share his time? If yes, then u r forcing your will on to him.
My husband can please himself what he wants if he wants more wife then he can do so but i won't be sticking around
It's actually not about necessarily having to have more than one partner, but about not limiting yourself or your partner and to be open to fall in love with someone else in case it happens without the need to drop your actual relationship. A bit oversimplified and a more passive approach, but that's basically the idea behind it.
I don't think I am capable of loving more than one partner and the whole idea does not apppeal to me but everyone is different
There is plenty people who cant cope with even one husband.
I'm sure that means monogamy is truly unworkable idea, right?
Its all down to the individuals needs. Everyone is different
I personal can't "love" two different people at once, but I personal have no problems with other people do what they please, unless they don't physical touch me
So, in case you'd have two children, you would only be able to love one? ;)
Parental love is very different from the love you feel for your partner(s) when in a relationship. I don't understand the "lie" in being monogamous here either. No one is forcing you to be monogamous, but it's ridiculous to say that the only true way to be in a relationship is your way. "However, human monogamy will forever remain what it is- a LIE!"
This is the statement I have a problem with, not polyamory itself.
I felt this same way at a point in my life and I loved the idea of it! I actually wrote a small blog about it myself. https://steemit.com/relationships/@treeshaface/is-there-such-a-soulmate
I understand the Steemit concept of "rewarding content creators for producing good content" and that's great and all... but then I read $2,200+ valued articles like this and suddenly I want to slam my head in a very thick, lethally-heavy door.
🙌🙈
Interesting, to say the least but I have to disagree. I see the effects of polygamy all around where I live. My country is one of the hardest hit when it comes to the HIV/AIDS pandemic (google up HIV?AIDS and Malawi to see what I mean). It has hit so close to home many times and the pain of dealing with child-headed households and the vicious cycle this perpetuates is too much for me. On the basis of that alone, monogamy makes sense to me. Polygamy has done a whole lot more damage than anything...and I have to ask "are rights always right?"
Doing things we're not inclined to do by our nature is what makes us civilized. Do you also plan on advocating for every other impulse people are born with like violence, deception, jealousy? Should everyone just impose their will on everyone else just because they're born with the inclination to do so? Should alcoholics and overeaters simply reframe their weakness as strength?
Love is not really mentioned in this article. The entire argument of polyamorous relationships vanishes once you fall in love. I have met several very promiscuous women in my life, who were into polyamorous relationships (a better name would be multiple sex-life frequentations) but when they fell in love that whole concept went out the window. Nobody wants their beloved diluting his love for them. To me the whole issue in monogamy is, firstly, if you can FALL in love and, secondly, if you can STAY in love.
Whom did we import it from? Aliens?
There's been an expectation of monogamy from women for a long time, where the same expectation hasn't traditionally been placed on men until recently. It seems to have developed among the wealthy class, who needed to ensure their heirs were truly of their line. Therefore, women were expected to be monogamous so men could be sure they were the biological father of their children, while men were not held to this same standard. Even in medieval Britain, the men of the noble class were expected to have mistresses as a matter of course.
Of course, women got some of their own action on the side, despite these expectations. They just had to be stealthy about it. A recent DNA study on the Y-DNA of Richard III (the DNA handed down only on the male line) shows two breaks in it between Richard's most distant male ancestor for whom we have DNA, and his most recent male-line relative....which means at least two women over about 700 years had children in that line who were not their husbands'!
I would like to see poly marriages be legalized next, after same sex marriage becomes the norm. My husband and I and one of his female friends did an experiment a few years ago to see how people really feel about poly relationships, as we know some same sex couples who are against poly unions. The three of us went walking through the mall, with me holding one of my husband's hands, and his female friend holding his other hand. You should have seen the dirty looks we got! People even grabbed their children and moved them away from us. It was insane.
Personally, I'd love to have a sister wife. Or, to not be married at all, but in a casual, no strings relationship. I think marriage and monogamy puts too much pressure on most relationships, and contributes to unhappiness within those relationships. Naturally, some people may do very well with monogamy. But, it's not for everyone.
really very nice job you did. Thanks for sharing that. I love posts . UPVOTED!
I just wrote a post on a Take This Drink In The Morning And The Next Day You Will Feel 10 Years Younger. Please have a look if you like.
https://steemit.com/health/@jessicanicklos/take-this-drink-in-the-morning-and-the-next-day-you-will-feel-10-years-younger
Another beautiful post, on a brave topic. I make a point to consider the past, and what sexuality was in a woman's life before contemporary times. I think monogamy is possible, maybe even preferable, but it's not our natural animal instincts, definitely not. Freedom to choose I will NEVER take for granted.
I asked Mary how her decision to forego sex at age 40 affected her relationship with The Man and if he or she missed having sex. “Hell no! He had affairs! He had affairs when I was having all those babies and he kept it up when I said E-N-U-F-F! I knew he was out carousing – and my lady friends told me they’d see him with this one or that one. How can a man with that big an appetite not have affairs? But divorce wasn’t an option and anyway, we couldn’t get divorced because we were Catholic. It was out of the question.” And what about Mary? “I missed having sex but I figured that was a time in my life - I have good and bad memories about sex.” The bad? “Thinking about The Man with those other women. That was hard and still causes me grief. I wasn’t enough for him.” The good? “We had some kind of fun! I try to think about that more than the other.” Toward the end of the interview, Mary stated, “I wish I was born later – I wish I was young in the 1970s. I wish I had a choice. But I didn’t. Young women nowadays don’t realize the freedom they have.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-time-cure/201303/sex-talk-women-mostly
Great post @msgivings. This is very true for me. I am in a monogamous relationship right now and I struggle with that concept. It makes me feel trapped. I love her though and have been very open with how I feel but she does not feel the same way.
I have been very repressed because of the concept of monogamy and how its been push onto everyone. When I was young, I was given the impression that men who sleep with multiple women are bad. Now I feel like the more I denie myself the freedom of being with who ever I want in any moment, the more I dull myself inside. At this point I really dont know what to do cause I love the person I'm with but i just want the freedom to be with whoever I want.
I see some contradictions in what you say, the most clear for me is that you first take one argument to say something then you destroy that argument that is supposed to support your point. See:
Monogamy is not a lie for me and for most of people. Perhaps it is a lie to you and people that share your point of view... guess you mean that right?
Also you talk about other species, like birds or lions. Every species got different ways to survive, also there are some breaking the rules, but in general all animal societies are ruled by a common norm they have hard written into their cross-generation memory.
Yet, why do you compare yourself to another species? That only opens the debate and sounds more like an excuse...
@msgivings, when you get a chance to get back and answer some of the comments made, it will be interesting once your silence is broken. I found the same contradiction @develcuy points out as a distraction of your argument. You agree that there are gay rights and you argue for polyamorous rights but you argue against human monogamy as being a lie. Are you against freely chosen monogamist relationships? And does that include gay or straight monogamist relationships? As far as I know, men and women can and do have simultaneous multiple sexual partners in and out of marriage. In my own extended family, several male members are raising children their wives have conceived with other men while within the marriage.
I feel guilty for even accepting that this post may have a point! Please God don't let my wife learn of my sneaky thoughts!
WHO FLAGGED THIS POST!? I'm putting 10SBD that this person has been cheated on in the last 4 weeks. Any takers?
I'm poly also and I think monogamy is a lie for most people, but not everyone. I think serial monogamy with cheating is actually what most people practice. A rare few practice serial monogamy and almost no one actually practices lifetime monogamy.
From time to time a sexy sidekick is boosting my life.
I'm married, have children, but these little secrets are the salt in my life. Man are not programmed for monogamy.
Monogamy is a challenge, do you choose love or lust? Who has convinced us that sex is mandatory like brushing teeth in a relationship. life moves in a cycle as do we. When times occur where sex is not on the agenda in relationship we feel somehow that it is wrong? That is the subliminal messaging of capitalists ads telling us that if we are not lusting there is something wrong in our lives (after products, objects and people). We are a product of our over-sexed society. Sex in the long run with robots is not fulfilling so if we cheat and suddenly have sex again we imagine that is love and dump our long term loyal partner for a newer sports ride. The challenge is not to be influenced by our corrupt society and live according to our deepest values and soul knowledge, after all we will all die eventually and physics say there is a life after death...
I can appreciate your opinion. I agree with most of what you said as it concerns societal norms. But while we have more in common than separates us, we aren't all the same. I don't consider monogamy a lie as you say, but a choice. As a socially imposed construct, yes, it's ridiculous. But not everyone wants to screw everything that walks. They've done research on primates and there are some species that once their partner/mate dies or is lost, they stay alone the rest of their days. There are some that have harems where the dominant male claims whatever mate he wants, and even a few where they are mostly polyamorous as you state. And everything in between. Like most things in life, if you strictly do what you are told, then you will remain as a child. Personally, I've been monogamous and had several partners, the only stipulation was honesty. I believe that is the way. Do what feels right to you. Just don't lie about it for your own self-interest at the expense of another's well being. Simple as that.
Instead of monogamy being a lie maybe its just not your truth? Everyone is different and perhaps want different things at different stages of life.
Monogamy itself is not a lie, it is a lifestyle. It is 100% choice and not forced on anyone. Yes it is encouraged in today's society, but by the same media that encourages cheating and divorce. The average consumer does what they are told to do. The only way to break free of this is to think for yourself, and be honest about it.
The lie is when you claim monogamy but are not happy with that choice. I believe in monogamy and am happy with that choice. My boyfriend does not believe in monogamy, it is not his first choice. We enjoy each other immensely but we are both aware that it is not a permanent solution to our difference in ideals. His happiness and his values are as important as mine and although he has chosen monogamy for right now, I don't expect him to keep with it for the rest of his life.
Honest monogamy... its a thing.. and so is honest polyamory... whatever you are, you are the one that chooses to make it honest or not.
The person who wrote this blog doesn't seem to understand anything about the battle between beta-males collectively and the alpha-males. Women are drawn to hypergamy. Monogamy is an institution created by the beta-males to compete against the alpha-males. The alpha-males (elite) have been successfully employing mind-control (via mass-media) to fool the beta-males into abandoning their strategy of collective enforcement of monogamy (and control over the hypergameous females).
I see a lot of guys upvoting the idea of multiple wives in an open relationship, but have they actually considered that means their wives falling in love with other guys and fucking them. So that means (unless you are into destroying your wives' bodies with birth control pills) very likely your wives pregnant and needing your financial support to raise children fathered by other men.
So if we are actually talking about multiple wives who are not given reciprocal freedom, then you will need to be supreme alpha-male if you expect to women to put up with this asymmetric arrangement, unless you are using some means of preventing the women from knowing or acting on their choices, such as some form of mind control (religion, cult, etc) or isolation. It is not realistic for most men to even be entertaining such a delusion.
Most men have enough trouble just maintaining exclusivity over one women, so that he isn't raising the kids of another man. Women are naturally drawn to hypergamy, so the idea of a monogamous relationship was created by the beta-males so their genetics would be competitive with the alpha-males. Otherwise, the alpha-males would impregnate all the females and the beta-males would be stuck raising all these children they didn't father.
The alpha-males typically don't have wives. They fuck 'em and leave 'em. Perhaps some very wealthy few maintain concubines.
I have provided a more in depth reaction in my new blog, Monogamy is an Evolutionary Strategy.
Monogamy is a promise to yourself that you can be faithful to one. If you can't don't make the promise.
Here is my problem, I am not going to put in extra effort to provide for someone who I know is going to be sexual with other partners. I dont just mean money. I would fail to provide anything besides sex. Not only that it would leave many women in the "who's this kids daddy" situation. No one likes guessing and who wants to pay for DNA all the time?
This. Even in a very recent incident Usain Bolt, who is about to get married with his long term GF, has slept with a widow of a Brazilian drug lord and said it is pretty normal in Jamaican culture that a successful man will have multiple partners.
Source: http://s.telegraph.co.uk/graphics/projects/usain-bolt/
The problem with polyamory is that it often causes a lot of drama and many polyamorous people are in the lifestyle just because they think it will get them more sex. There's nothing inherently wrong with poly relationships, but making one work seems like no easy feat.
Once upon a time, there was a really dumb hot chick who went to college. Often instead of studying, she would frequent the bars with the mission to win the attention of all the fuck-worthy dudes. She would hook up with guys regardless of their relationship status, regardless of the evil looks from the other women, simply because she loved being desired. She also loved breaking rules, because in her mind - rules were made to be broken. At first, it was a thrill - free drinks, fun times, great sacks, rinse, repeat. She thought of herself as a strong minded woman with little obligation to any one individual. However, before her college experience came to a close, Ms. Hottie finds herself with a few STDs, a bad reputation, a low GPA, and an even lower self esteem. Our polyamorous heroine comes to a crossroads - does she continue to make reckless choices?
We all know at least one.
That post just remind me Milan Kundera : "The best progressive ideas are those that include a strong enough dose of provocation to make its supporters feel proud of being original, but at the same time attract so many adherents that the risk of being an isolated exception is immediately averted by the noisy approval of a triumphant crowd."
Do you ever wonder if monogamy pitfalls are just societies subconscious enforcing/incentivizing polygamy to lower the barrier to entry to new relationships formed?
Still waiting for your reply....
If government gets involved it's always immoral, but there's nothing wrong with monogamy, that's between the people themselves.
Also don't bring in human nature, cause it has nothing to do with human nature, basically nothing we see humans behave like has much to do with human nature, it's conditioning. human nature is that humans are programmable.
100% agree the human condition
Do you support polygamy but not polyandry?
Hey @msgivings ,
My response to your post is long so I thought I would make a post and just link it. I have a lot of questions and think it would show great character on your part if you checked out my response and made one back so your followers and myself can fully understand your position on this subject better.
https://steemit.com/responce/@skeptic/a-responce-to-monogamy-is-a-lie
Thank you and look forward to hearing back from you.
I think that people should have the right to chose for themselves, that includes this as well.
I agree that we are not monogamy and that is over suggested.
I wouldn't call it a lie if both partners actually would make that descision out of an absolutely free and conscious choice.
And by free choice, I mean being really free to choose between several options. Which means having dealt with jealousy, fear, society issues etc and not choosing monogamy as a coping mechanism or because of idealized and overly romanticized Hollywood bullshit.
That being said, I think if people would deal with those things, monogamy would be a non-issue and only few would walk that path. Those that do absolutely have the right to do that.
But I also have a quite wide definition of polyamory...
Lifetime monogamy to me is almost like a penitence.
You can read the bible. The story of Abram, one of the fathers of the Israelites and his wife Sarah. :)
I have been through much heartache due to my inability to embrace monogamy. I just do not believe in it. I love people too deeply to limit myself to one love forever. The woman I live with knows this. She doesn't like it though. I get kicked out every once in awhile. Thanks for writing.
Or, you don't love deeply enough and so can never make the profoundly loving commitment that monogamy requires.
I have a hard enough time dealing with sharing my time and thoughts with one girlfriend, I would probably go completely mental to have to deal with 2 or more; unless they are just pseudo-pieces of meat just there to fulfill my sexual cravings - let's not kid ourselves this is what this post is mainly about the rest is just a bunch of boloney.
If you want sex with a lot of people just go to a sex club, it's not that hard to figure out this day in age - is it??
So are you advocating we screw with any one we lustfully desire and be unfaithful as possible???
I think the first part you are right but they did point out that adultery(sex with another with out your wifes' willfull permission)
Yay for polyamorous comunity on steemit!
Im wondering where all your photographs came from!? Your an awesome photographer!
I heard an interesting story once about a poly couple who had several kids. Sometimes the man would look after the kids while his wife was out for an all night date with everything included in the company of an exciting stranger. Other times it was the other way around. When the children asked where the other parent was they where told "Mommy / Daddy is out on a journey". The word "journey" gave rise to thoughts of fun and adventure and discovery Which was not so far from the truth. As the children got older they were told about the benefits of freedom to enjoy quality time with different people as long as honesty and respect is maintained. Therefore more details could be revealed without harm to the psychology of the children. In this way the family delevoped trust and open mindedness in their relations. Over time they learned more about freedom in relationships based on quality time together instead of ownership with fear of losing control. I am not sure if everything was as rosy as it this but the story does make me smile :)
It's equally a lie to say monogamy isn't the right thing for some people. Pushing your personal belief upon others is equally wrong. Plainly put the government should have no ability to intervene in the decisions of and transactions between informed, consenting adults.
'Do as thou wilt shalt be the whole of the law' - Aleister Crowley