I think monogamy has value, particularly for providing a stable environment for raising children, but I've also begun to think it's overrated as well.
One thing I find incredibly interesting is seeing what the bible has to say on the subject, since that's widely believed to be the source of the moral outrage at non-monogamy. As it turns out, the bible says remarkably little about it, and never explicitly states that monogamy is the only moral sexual relationship.
In fact, I am confident that the bible does not say that sex is only legitimate within the bounds of marriage (though I'm sure modern christians will label me a heretic for saying as much). It does condemn adultery, which makes sense: one should honor his commitments; it points out that there is a proper time and a place for sex, and abusing it is unhealthy...
In 1 Corinthians, Paul argues for monogamy, but the attitude of this passage is not one of laying out basic moral law, but rather one of a wise mentor advocating restraint to a specific audience in a specific situation. I could elaborate further, but the long and short of it is that most of what modern christianity teaches about sexual morality is on shaky biblical footing at best; I personally think polyamory is within the bounds of biblical morality.
I realize that most people don't care about biblical morality, but the bible has a lot of good advice, and I think it warrants some consideration even if you don't accept it as axiomatically true (which I do not) as most modern christians do.
Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines and is considered the wisest man to have ever lived. Nuff said.
It was wise in past to go out hunting with these...
Guess what! Now it isn't anymore...
There's a reason Solomon had so many wives and concubines - he was playing the numbers. Having over a thousand women available meant that on any given day he had an almost 50% chance of finding one in a good mood.
LOVE IT. VERY TRUE.
Secondly, any man with that many wives surely had a lot of problems do deal with, the wisest thing would be to have as few as possible.
Totally agreed. Imagine having 30 mothers is law. It's hard enough to tolerate one.
Actually I thought Socrates was considered the wisest man that ever lived, because he knew what he did not know.
Surely because he knew that he did not know.
Socrates on matrimony: "By all means get married. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher!"
Solomon gets my upvote x2000
Wise man detected @themagus
Observant @fulltimegeek !!
lol great argument!
My brotha solomon must of had the mojo of a freakin stead.
"One thing I find incredibly interesting is seeing what the bible has to say on the subject, since that's widely believed to be the source of the moral outrage at non-monogamy."
...I guess somebody havent noticed amount of mayhem divorces cause in life of children as well ...
... or toxic relationships that are held together just because of societal pressures
... haven't noticed how harmful can be serial monogamy that is result of status quo ...
... and havent bothered to research about interesting facets of polyamorous relationships raising children ...
... but hey, throwing own preconceptions as only possible truth is so much easier ...
(btw, chrome spellcheck doesnt even know word "polyamorous" ... nuff said)
Interestingly, the Bible only punishes adultery with a married woman. That is, if a married woman commits adultery she's punished. If a man sleeps with a married woman, they are both punished. However there are no instances where a married man sleeping with an unmarried woman is punished!
I'd argue that a stable environment with more people involved could be healthy for a child. It would be like being raised by a mom, a dad, and some aunts and uncles. If the relationship between everyone was harmonious it could work.
And yeah, the bible is most definitely not against polygamy. Didn't King Solomon have over 1000 wives and concubines?
Sure, no doubt more people can be a good thing. I've talked about it with children of polyamorous parents, and my impression is that parents having multiple partners isn't a problem as long as it's all in the open, and the core mother/father pair remains intact. I think the research backs this up too (at least, that a core mother/father pair is ideal), as does common sense if one considers it in comparison with possible alternatives.
Indeed, the bible doesn't condemn polygamy (which is not the same as polyamory, I note), but it also seems to indicate that it's not the optimal state of affairs. I think the bible treats polygamy as an acceptable solution to a bad situation; not a scenario to be sought out.
Actually Paul argues most vociferously for celibacy, and only defers to monogamy as a last resort for those who cannot remain celibate.
1 Corinthians 1:18