GUYS INSECURE AROUND A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN

In a midnight conversation with two of my friends, one, we would call Felix shared with us the tale of how he lost interest in a young woman he had been trying to woo when he discovered she had a car (a posh one at that) while he didn’t.

He said it was awkward for him to agree to have anything with her after she offered him a lift one day after she saw him strolling home from work. I was shocked and somewhat disappointed because he was already a graduate and I felt this mindset was mind-boggling.

I know there are many other guys like Felix, but there are a certain number who could care less.
In the African society, it is unmanly for a man to be unmanly, so they say, and manliness is defined in a certain myopic way by majority of persons.

The man is an ego being and whatever does not boost his ego is a threat to him; that is why he would do anything to disassociate himself with anything that seems to deflate his ego.

As a young woman in Nigeria, we began the training on how to be a marriageable woman/ wife early and many of the qualities or attributes we were trained in were mainly man ego massaging attributes.

In times past, this was acceptable as women gleefully accepted to be trained this way, because almost all of them aspired to be someone’s wife and could care less about other things that would reduce their “wifeliness”. I believe this is what gave rise to the phrase we all have been using, “wife material” and of course the latest subtle introduction into conversations “husband material”.

These two terms are used to describe a person, man or woman who is marriageable, it’s the process in which one’s marriageability can be measured and in years pasts owning a car was a big scar or dent on a woman’s marriageability: as a woman who owned a car was no good wife material, as many single stories assumed they would be disrespectful, arrogant and irresponsible.

In recent times, this ideology is still very much present and alive and still hovers just like a hollow, around the minds of some guys.

Times are changing or would I say, times have changed and there are equal opportunities for both sexes to excel.

As the economy is dancing here and there, it is becoming a norm to have women in businesses and in money-making ventures, though their male counterparts are still very sceptical and less receptive of their new found place in the society.

Are you a man of this time and age who believes any woman who owns a car and even a house to her name would most likely be disrespectful, arrogant and irresponsible? Isn’t that “18th Century-ish”

We are in the era of Bitcoin and some people still choose to remain in the 18th century.

Dear Men, why is this so and what can be done about it?

It is not funny.