How I Found Out He's a Player

in #relationships8 years ago (edited)

After leaving a relationship of 14 years back in 2014, and just starting to date again this summer, I got together with someone who was a friend. We hung around almost every Friday night and drank and did silly things. Well, this summer the relationship changed. We crossed lines that I now know I should not have crossed. For the record, I'm not one to sleep with anyone unless I have deep feelings for the person.

And that was the whole problem. He meant more to me than I did to him. He is already seeing someone else and trying to get her the way he got to me.

I said to one of my dear girlfriends that at least instead of taking 14 years to figure out the guy I'm with is no good , it only took a month and a half - so I am getting much better, lol.

It's because this time I was in it with my eyes wide open - unfortunately so was my heart and yes, I'm still hurting right now even though I already knew he was trouble, but I will get over it.

Anyway . here's how I knew I was being played:

  1. A text to me from him earlier in the week: "I might see you Saturday, maybe"
  2. Several other texts suggesting that we get together on Saturday - but no definite invitation
  3. Friday nite I sent him a text saying "just wondering if you wanted my company on Saturday because if not I could accept other plans."
  4. His response was that he was working Saturday morning.
  5. My question was not about the morning but later in the afternoon and evening, but the evasive answer was a red flag and so I fired back a text which read: "Real friends do not play head games with their friends."
  6. His response was enough to tell me that he was doing work for a woman who he's interested in and was hoping for her company later but didn't want to come out and tell me that, in case it fell through, and I would be there for him.
  7. Another text from him that read" Stop ragging me out"
  8. Confirmation from a girlfriend that he was with this other woman on Friday night while sending me these texts.

Gotta love your girlfriends.

For the record, I have no animosity towards this other woman who my player friend is chasing. In fact, I know her, I like and respect her, and I am secretly hoping that if anyone is going to put this player in his place, it will be her. She's smart, successful, and doesn't suffer fools gladly. So I'm thinking: you go, girl!

As for him, all I can say is: you reap what you sow, buddy.

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Don't write off your first fall from the saddle - get up again girl! Life only has meaning in the struggle ;) It might take 2, 3, 4 or 5 dates! (but you can do it!)

well, I am giving myself a little time to mend and next time I will be a little more discerning - but yeah, I'm not giving up - there are lots of fish in the sea :) Thank you for commenting!

All hurts serve as future medicine ;)x