Empowered relationships are made of individuals with an empowered mindset—emotionally autonomous individuals. For more on the concepts of empowered individuals and emotional autonomy, please see:
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@healthyhappyhigh/is-there-room-for-blame-in-an-empowered-mindset
Self-ownership and Relationships
A liberated world consists of individuals who take responsibility for how they feel all of the time and for all of their life experiences. Relationships based on the premise of self-ownership look very different from “traditional” relationships, as there exists a mutual respect and appreciation of the other's physical and emotional autonomy.
The reminders and statements that follow apply to any relationship, whether it's with a business partner, family member, or significant other.
The basics of a liberated relationship are as follows:
I understand that we are distinct and autonomous pieces of a collective and infinite consciousness operating out of these physical bodies.
I understand that while we are pieces of the same consciousness, we have unique perspectives.
I understand that differing perspectives do not necessitate one person being right and the other being wrong.
I appreciate that you and I have different perspectives. I appreciate our abilities to pick and choose from all perspectives what resonates with us, individually.
We are individual beings pursuing unique avenues of enlightenment/awareness/expanded consciousness. I appreciate that your path is different from mine.
Emotional Autonomy is a Prerequisite of Enlightened Relationships:
Emotional Autonomy Basics:
I can’t make you happy. You can’t make me happy. I can make me happy. You can make you happy. Then we can be happy together.
I am never going to be or do exactly what you want all of the time and vice versa.
People love in different ways and show love in different ways. If I need you to do some specific behavior in order for me to feel loved, or if I think that if you do some specific action then you must not love me, I am telling myself stories to shirk responsibility for the unpleasant emotion I’ve chosen to experience.
If I am going to wait to feel secure and happy in the relationship till you do everything how I think you should do it, I will never feel secure and happy in the relationship.
Only I can make something you say or do personal/take something personally. I can think of no valid time to do either.
Just because, from my perspective, a behavior seems to mean you don’t care about me doesn’t mean that is true. It means I’m making up a story out of thin air about your motivations and treating it as truth, again, to shirk responsibility for the unpleasant emotion I’ve chosen to experience.
In my understanding that nothing anyone says or does is personal, I realize that every choice and behavior comes down to how connected or disconnected a person is from his or her higher self in that moment and how connected or disconnected I am when looking at the behavior in question.
The NAP applies:
I understand that the NAP applies to interpersonal relationships:
I recognize and respect your freedom to say and do what you want, when you want.
I recognize and respect your freedom to interact with who you want, however you want, whenever you want.
I recognize and respect that you own your body, your time, and your energy.
I appreciate that you are an autonomous being and I am an autonomous being, and that we choose to share much of our time and energy with each other, while simultaneously understanding that the love I feel is not contingent on any of your behaviors.