Betaization - The Silent Killer (of Sex)

I met my wife on a ski trip to Aspen. A close female friend of mine said she had a friend she wanted me to meet. She had been adamant about us meeting for awhile. I was open to it since I love women, and a new one is always great. Finally, my friend invites me to come on a ski trip to Aspen with her and three of her girlfriends. I said yes, but I was not going to stay with them. I knew instinctively not to stay with them. I had to have my own cave and options should things get weird. I met them in the airport right after my plane landed. She introduced me to this gorgeous little brunette named Angela. I knew the minute I saw her that she was special, and that I was really attracted to her. I was at the top of my game. I was a single man of means, not tied to location and could travel the world as I wanted. We hit it off and broke off from the group, and hit the slopes together. I was snowboarding and she was skiing right next to me. It was beautiful.

She lived in Atlanta, and I lived in North Carolina. I would fly her to town every other weekend and it was blissful. We moved in together. The first day we moved in together we went to the grocery store together. I picked out iceberg lettuce and she had a fit. “We will not be eating that Jerry Springer lettuce!” She said. I could not believe my ears. Iceberg lettuce is what is used for a wedge in high end restaurants. Not only that, I like iceberg lettuce. I said I’ll get my lettuce and you get yours. We never shopped for groceries together again. Why would she care what kind of lettuce I bought? It was many years before I understood that she didn’t care. It was her subconscious and natural desire to betaize her mate. Betaization is what I call the silent killer. It is the killer of all things sexual in a relationship and the path to misery for the man.

I had never lived with anyone that I was dating. It was a major shock to my system. I was very in tune with her moods. I am a fixer, so I always wanted there to be peace. So I ended up avoiding conflict and making sure I did what she wanted. We eventually married, due to many tearful fights saying she loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. She wanted to get married. And I relented. I always felt robbed of my proposal, as I would have probably married her because I loved her. But the pushing and cajoling made me feel pressure to do it.

We married and I thought it strange that on our wedding day she had several Tequila shots before the ceremony. This was her wedding that she had pressured me to make happen, and she needed to be drunk to do it? Now it is as clear as day what was going on. I had been fully betaized by bending to her will in so many areas. She thought it was what she wanted, but she wanted me to be my own man. It only got worse once we had a child. When our daughter was born I embraced parenting. My work didn’t require 9 to 5 so I could spend lots of time at home with the baby. I will never forget the night my wife went to the gym, I stayed home and kept the baby. This was the time when the baby was still breastfeeding. She was hungry, I had nothing to feed her, and my wife would not answer her phone. I was a complete beta. No woman can feel sexually attracted to a man that behaves the way I did. A man can keep his kid, but I had put myself in a weak position, my child crying for food, and I was powerless. While my wife is working out extra long knowing I'm unable to feed our child. She left me for a personal trainer at that very gym a few years later, and I wouldn't bet ten bucks that she wasn't already seeing him then. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t work out as long as she was away at the gym that night.

As a single man that dates I can see the betaization process begins very early. I am now able to maintain attraction for as long as any relationship lasts now. Six to nine months is the length of time a man can enjoy a serious relationship if he is more Alpha than Beta. This is how it starts and I want you to watch out for these signs. Do not text ping pong with women you date. Do not create a pattern of always writing back if they text you. Avoid phone conversations. How can you do that you ask? You make it clear that you hate talking on the phone. You make the rules. She wants you to make the rules. She needs you to set boundaries. I truly don’t like talking on the phone, especially about insignificant bullshit. Here is how it goes.
Phone rings: You answer:
You: Hello?
Her: Hi. Whatcha doing?
you: buying fuses for my car.
Her: Where do you get that?
you: Auto parts store
Her: Are you having a good day?
you: It’s pretty good. How about you?
Her: Well, this girl at work pissed me off. The boss always takes her side. I think they are sleeping together.
You: Really?
Her: She comes in my office and blah blah blah blah (Charlie Brown’s Teacher voice)
You: I need to take care of business, so listening to this stupid bullshit will have to wait. (you won’t do this, so don’t get in the habit of having conversations like these)

These conversations seem innocent enough, but there are several reasons you must not allow them. She will call and text you constantly, and look for patterns of when and how you answer. If you are out with your friends, she will want to see if you answer to test to see if you are up to no good, or otherwise known as having fun. This is a leashing technique. The less you communicate with a lady you are seeing the better. Early on, they want to imagine you to be their dream guy. Keeping your mouth shut helps with this and will pay dividends in the bedroom.

Recently I have noticed they request phone photos of where you are. This I refuse to do. It is simply a leashing technique that they want to generate patterns of when you will and won’t do it. Let’s say you are out with another girl and she texts you and wants a photo. If you have ever indulged in this mistake, she will wonder why you aren’t answering and not jumping through her beta hoop. Never do it, and remove her expectation that you will ever do it. Do not be angry with her for trying to Betaize you. It is how she decides whether you are the provider or the lover. She wants you to be the lover. That excites her. You will think she wants you to do the things she asks. She may even get mad if you won’t. But she actually wants you to not allow her bullshit tests and hoops to take you off your game. It seems counter intuitive to most men. If I make her happy by doing what she wants she will love me and reward me with sex. No. She will be let down, lock in on your wallet, and begin looking for an Alpha to creep around behind your back with. That is the best thing ever for them. If you are with your girl, and she starts to criticize a choice, and you find yourself defending your choices, you should take the Clint Eastwood test. Ask yourself, would Clint be fighting like a little bitch over what kind of lettuce to buy? Answer: Clint would not be grocery shopping with his lady.