so I woke up getting informed by my brother that my little cousin will have a sleep over in my room, which means i wont get to use my bed for me to sleep on and i won't get to work on my painting as well, since my room is small and my canvases are all so big for me to work on, like i do a lot of different positions in my canvases because I always want to be comfortable with which sides i prefer on working.
i may be selfish to rant about not giving a child her chance to do a sleep over but, seriously I want to work peacefully without any disturbance even if its just for a night, I'm sorry to be selfish but every time i get tired from working, i lay in my bed to rest my back too!
I want all the space in my room for myself like... im pretty sure you guys dont want any kids around everytime you work right?
i can already imagine the "too many question asked" everytime i paint and i don't want that at all, I want a peaceful surrounding, a very silent peaceful surrounding!
damn it, i know im being selfish but I really want my own time without any disturbance... my bro was so mad to me for being selfish about it... then LET THE KID SLEEP IN YOUR BED AND NOT MINE!!!
okay so why am i so worked out about this? because i was traumatize before when this kid literally wasted MY EXPENSIVE PAINTINGS! and i didn't get a say to it, because the parents and grandmother would get mad if id did, though this kid is already big now but still.. i just don't like the presence of this kid being in my room or to anyone really.. a kid, a pet, a parent, a best friend.. none! just me and my art materials!
I am so bad for thinking this way.. but can i just be selfish for once not to be disturbed in my own momentum whenever i paint?
or shoud i just call it a day and waste it without working? yeah thats just about right oh well.. fuck it, it's just for a day and i just hope the stay won't extend...
I know im bad and selfish but im a human too .. not perfect all the time.. not right all the time... i feel these things.. but of course i wouldn't let the kid feel it.. and yeah the kid is already here at home.. and as an aunt.. I welcomed the kid and just thought of doing something else that's productive like blogging like this..
don't get me wrong, I love kids.. just not this time when I am working..
This is so meeee, in fact your reason is more valid pa while I really don't want anyone in my space JUST BECAUSE and that's what I want. Ramdam na ramdam kita. They welcome the kid so why not welcome the kid on their room too hindi yong madadamay kapa 😫. And like that na may past experience kapa pala sa kids doing things like that. Sana naman naisip din nila yong magiging lagay mo ano 😫.
right? sigh i even set a goal for this day that I will finish the background painting with a good music on the side.. but i wont get to do that because one i'll get questioned a lot with my work, worse she also wants to draw and be taught (always a possible scenario) two tiktok musics on the background though it can be solve by plugging my earphones not much of a problem but i usually work without it and i love a free volume music inside the whole room.. so basically im not mentally prepared of this unexpected situation, but what i just hope for is that the night will be over soon