It took me a few years to break the hold of some irrational beliefs that were formative for me, adopted in my dim, unremembered childhood. I also encourage you to shop around for therapy. You probably will note the disparity in ability, intent, and empathy between them as you do.

I hope your insurance doesn't make you see only a particular provider. Finding one right for you is essential. I quit when my therapist retired.

Now I take Xanax =p

All my best wishes for your evolution into what you know you can be.