Another great read. So, I have gone through TWO rounds of CPT (cognitive processing therapy). I'm not sure if it's the same, but it sounds like it is. So, what follows is simply my own experience with the whole process. My problem with things like CPT and modern mental health in general, is the approach in which it's dealt with. Sterile rooms, distracted therapists, factory-production style psychiatry. My CPT sessions were each twelve weeks in duration. One in a group, the other as a one-on-one approach. I understood the goal of the treatment, but for me, as you say in your post, it's a therapy that won't necessarily work for everyone. It wasn't for lack of being involved or being proactive; I've been incredibly proactive about my mental health. (Starting therapy almost as soon as I got back from Afghanistan). The approach of sitting down, writing, talking, and doing it all over again just didn't seem to take. You ask whether or not it's situation or meaning, and as a combat veteran, I think it's both. Sometimes it's hard to separate the situation from the emotion. In combat, you are constantly running on such base emotion and primal instinct, that those two become inseparable. When you train for combat, you're hammering back all those emotions that would come flooding forward, the "fight-or-flight" responses, and so you are actively over-riding those pathways. As weird as it sounds, it's easier to train your mind into that "always-ready" state than it is to bring it out of it. And so now, as a combat veteran, when you approach situations like large crowds, that situation triggers an emotion, a ready-state, based on actual experience. We had a saying, basically, the Marine Corps did a great job of training us for war, but a horrible job of training us to come back, and re-integrate into society. Of course, not every Veteran that experiences combat has PTSD, but many, if not most, will undoubtedly have some residual effects left-over from the experience of combat. Anxiety. Depression.
Also, in my experience, I've learned that PTSD in combat veterans seems to have a common theme; most having already dealt with a previous traumatic experience, (being molested, raped, abuse, alcohol and chaos in the home; which is where I'd fall in, the alcohol and chaos and fighting.)
Now, when I start having those feeling, I take to my writing, or I head out into the woods for fresh air and nature. It's tricky though because my depression is heavy, and comes on like a tide in the ocean. All of the sudden, I'm sitting on the bench of my own life-game, even during the beautiful moments. If it's real bad, I turn to Psilocybin mushrooms, as those have had the most profound impact on my entire outlook on life, my mental health. So, all is not doom and gloom. Healing can, and is, occurring. Thanks for casting light on these kinds of topics! I enjoy these articles!