Dear Reader,
This week I have some homework for you 😊
I would like you to please time three minutes on your alarm clock, sit comfortably, close your eyes; then, try to focus on your breathing. Whenever your thoughts drift away bring them back to your breathing pattern. It is very likely that this will be what the whole three minutes will be about. But it will still be a good way of exercising focus.
It's been way too long since I've done anything like this or anything similar to really sit back and take time for - and focus on - myself.
And why am I commenting BEFORE I've done it?
Because I want to tell you that it shows. I've been looking for a reason for quite some time now, and yet you tell me it's been right in front of me all this time.
I've been having trouble sleeping lately - tumbling around in bed until 3 am or later, then waking up at 5:40 am, been feeling tired all the time, unsocial, .... .... basically I've been feeling down in just about every sense.
The funny thing is, if you take 10 minutes - hell, even if you take an hour and go for a relaxing walk (I prefer walking to sitting meditation) - you actually end up feeling like there are more hours left of the day, not less.
And not only do you "magically create more time out of thin air", you also feel more energized and focused when you do come back to "reality".
The more I type this the more I'm recognizing the importance myself - for the second time, hheh...
I've been stuck in a loop of endless procrastination for the past few weeks (which some may have ntoiced on my blog - no new content aside of 5 minute freewrites), where I wanted to be very productive, was feeling guilty for doing nothing, but at the same time couldn't muster enough energy to actually do anything, and so was/am stuck in this vicious cycle of ... self-loathing for doing nothing and at the same time trying to overdo everything... And so I end up feeling completely overwhelmed with even the simplest of tasks...
Before this turns into a too introspective comment, I'll conclude it by saying:
Please take your time to sit down and "have a talk" with yourself. Time you spend bettering yourself is never wasted time. And you should never feel bad for taking that time for yourself. You are your most important asset - and everything you've got at the end of the day.
It's something I need to tell myself everyday also.
Hopefully this comment also answers why I haven't posted what I told you I would, @abigail-dantes. Sorry about that. :|
Now if you'll excuse me.... I have some meditating to do. :D
Edit: my former edit just.. vanished? so I will reply to myself.
Ahahahahah - This is so honest & funny :) (Loved it!).
I am very fond of walks too @svashta. I got to a point in my life where I cannot go without it anymore. Specially because I have trouble sleeping - I have always had. Of course, I only go for light walks, which allows me to think things through and put things in order in my head. The way I truly meditated is doing Yoga, as I find myself completely engrossed with the flow and asanas. This way I find I turn off from the outside world even more than when I try to meditate in the traditional way - to be honest, I am not very good at that!
In the paragraph where you described you currently find yourself enclosed in this cycle of wanting to do things and not doing them reminds me of the concept that discusses those situations in life when we focus on the gap that separates us from how we fell and how we would like to feel. I suppose this is that moment when accepting one's current state of mind and facing it will inevitably set us in motion to move forward.
You always finish your comments in great style @svashta. I hope that (your) message has touched you in the same way it has touched me. Take your time and look after yourself! You are a very talented, clever person. I will be waiting for that post and read it eagerly whenever you are ready to get on with it. But, perhaps, maybe you need to put a few little things in order first :)
I am looking forward to hear how you got on with that breathing exercise! Today, I did mine in the morning. 3 minutes. I struggled a little. But, now, after reading your comment. I feel I should do it again in the evening.
All the best to you always :)
I, too, have become dependant on these long walks that - exactly as you said - allow me to put things in order. And also have never been very good at "traditional meditation".
Hmmm. I never tried yoga. But since all else you say about yourself I can easily identify myself in.... perhaps I should give it a shot. The worst that can happen is becoming more flexible :p
Yes. It is exactly that. And because I didn't face it - and didn't allow myself any me-time, I was struggling hard.
Thank you very much!
To be quite honest, I also try my best to, and I'm very happy to see it shows. :3
And also thank you very much for all the other kind words that made me feel all fuzzy inside.
And your understanding, of course. It means a lot to me.
And starting right now (actually already started 10 minutes ago. :p) I am doing something I've been dreading and postponing for a long time now. And honestly? It's not that bad once you get at it :P And if I do a tenth, or a fifth of it while also having fun, it still beats having done nothing and being stressed the entire time, right? :D So your words - and mine - did indeed touch me in all the right places :P
As mentioned in my reply to myself, my mind kept wandering to how I never truly commented on your post, because I only commented on the very end of it (the breathing exercise)... Then when I managed to isolate those thoughts, I kept feeling bad because I didn't deliver the post I've promised you. When I managed to get rid of that - a string of hope sprouted as I began to think what my post could be about. Then I began feeling uneasy, my left buttcheek was apparently feeling a little too crumpled, and so I kept thinking whether or not I should reposition myself or not... Before I could fully decide, the timer went off and the three minutes have past.
I will definitely be giving it another go today! Especially since I can't really go out for a walk in this weather. Hopefully you're luckier there and can have a walk yourself ;D If so, have a stretch for me also, please :P