People often fail to build lasting, loving relationships with others. This lack of bonding has led to the emergence of a crippled society. When people are not able to connect with others on a fundamental level, especially with their partners and family members, distrust is sown within those networks and throughout every rung of society.

This lack of relational cohesion is one of the major causes of the disarray and chaos that envelops everyone, and leads to the violence of school shootings, acts of suicide, aggressive parenting, and the brutality of the State. In part, it also leads to the breakdown of moral standards and the degradation of the individual psyche.

Anomie and Contradictory Morality

One sociologist, Émile Durkheim, referred to this problem as Anomie. It means a condition in which society provides little moral guidance to individuals.

This makes sense. When relationships are frail and weak, people do not tend to think about the importance of morality. They have no sense of connection to the people around them or the greater community at large. This means morality is often mired in contradictions within the relational ecosystem.

For instance, many parents hit their children and tell them it is "for their own good." Then they tell their children not to hit others because hitting is wrong. Anyone can clearly see the contradiction. If hitting is wrong, why did the parent whack the child to begin with?

This contradiction undermines relational connections and warps morality. This is a feedback loop that poisons the well of attachment. The input is aggressive-contradictory parenting, and the output is contradictory morality on and on ad nauseum, all based on jilted interpersonal dynamics..

If we are to move beyond this twisted state of affairs, we must begin to heal our relationships with others. This means people must adopt a relationship-centric and empathy-oriented mentality. It is not enough just to abolish government or preach high moral standards. That should certainly be a priority, but if we do not work on disseminating the importance of caring, empathetic relationships, abolishing the State will not solve the underlying problems that allows the State and violence to flourish.

We must work at creating strong attachments with the people close to us, including our children, friends, and parents. This will cause anomie to dissolve, because strong bonds by their nature are non-aggressive and morally consistent.

The Importance of Patience

Providing an environment that allows strong bonds to flourish is easier said than done, though. Most people in the world are broken. They have been exploited in childhood, had their brains turned to mush via public schooling, and have had to march in lockstep to the tune of abhorrent statism. This necessarily creates a toxic environment that allows aggression to emerge like a zombie from the muck.

In order to reverse this trend, we must all amplify our levels of patience for those in our inner circles. We must realize people are going to make mistakes. Everyone is imperfect and was brought up in awful environments. We cannot place impossible standards on those close to us. We must realize they will fall short of perfection.

It is true that exercising patience means that some of those people close to us will lash out in the aggression they have been taught, or they will act inconsistently based on the anomie they have suffered.

However, if we practice patience and help guide them to the greater truth of relational connection and cooperative partnership, we can create a society with abundant love. This shared love will ultimately alter the greater social dynamics, and help to dissolve much of the disarray and chaos within society.

Abolishing the State with Love and Remembering Boundaries

This patience we exercise will also help abolish the State, because the State is merely a symptom of poor human connections and the anomie engendered by lack of love. The State only flourishes because our relationships are in dire straits. For example, people believe they have to use the power of political parties to force others how to live a certain way. This a form of violent relationship, and it also creates its own destructive, collectivist feedback loop.

Heal these relationships and attune to one another, and the State will quietly slip into the void of nothingness, and be forgotten as a dangerous relic that defined the reckless adolescence of humankind.

As a final note, just remember that exercising patience does not mean accepting everything. It does not mean allowing people to get away with murder. We must all remember to deploy our boundary expectations. If we do not have boundaries, people will often take advantage of our desire to empathize with others. Everyone should delineate their boundaries, so they do not fall victim to sociopaths or predators.

I believe this is how we ultimately eradicate the State and begin to heal society from the ground level up.

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Sterlin Luxan is a visionary thinker, cryptocurrency junkie, connoisseur of psychology, an MDMA high priest, and the Mr. Rogers of Anarchism. He is the Communications Ambassador for bitcoin.com, runs a consultancy business in the crypto space, and is a public speaker. He created the doctrine of relational anarchism and contributes to many causes in the thriving liberty ecosystem.