Since my earliest childhood I have been closed, I love loneliness. Mom says that I could spend hours with the dolls, not giving anyone any special trouble. Then the parents were happy, I did not need to entertain me, now it was some kind of curse.
At school, no one wanted to be friends with me, peers were not interested in me, so I spent all my free time studying. I graduated excellent school, entered university, now I have a good job, but my friends, as it was not, I still do not. I know that the problem is in me, but I can not help myself. If an employee speaks to me or, worse, the boss, I immediately numb, I blush, and I want to run away, close in the room and not see anyone.
Parents are puzzled because they can not understand why I behave this way, I react to people, because in our family everything is normal, and moreover, my mother works as a tutor in a kindergarten, and my father teaches in college. My mother says that it was necessary to show me in the childhood to a psychologist, but then they did not pay much attention to this, but now, probably, it's too late to do anything.
I often think that I need to quit and work at home, the only way out for me is freelancing. Then I will feel comfortable, but when I told my parents, they immediately began to object, they said that I would not get used to people, but I still need to get married. In soc. networks I normally communicate, there I even have friends in my friends, although I did not meet with anyone from any of them, they offered, but I'm afraid that I will not be able to communicate and then I will lose my virtual, but still friends.
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I'm certainly no psychologist, but might it be some element of control. When interacting with others, or trying to create relationships, what others think about us can be out of our control, which can be a scary prospect sometimes. As difficult as it might be, facing some of this anxiety and fear is necessary because how else will you grow? What do you want most? be honest with yourself.
step by step @steemrecipes
Sometimes people advise shy people just to jump into the water. To be exposed to social situations and to deal with what you are most afraid of.
This method is good for some, but for others, it will work the other way around. There are those who will be exposed so hard that they will retreat back to their usual shy behavior. It is, therefore better to be gradually exposed to increasingly difficult social situations. Start with anxiety levels in situations that cause you little anxiety (such as asking for information or informing someone you do not know) and continuing to more difficult and frightening situations.
Set yourself small goals. Say hello to a supermarket cashier, smile at a stranger or look at him. You can chat a little with a person waiting for you in line. When you hang out small you can make realistic expectations of yourself and reward yourself with a sense of accomplishment as you move up the ladder of goals.
Practice with strangers or people you know you'll never see again. It is harder to experiment with people you already know or know you want as friends, feel more confident if you put your skills in a small talk with absolute strangers that you will not see again.
The more comfortable you are with social interactions in everyday situations, the more natural it will be to start a conversation even in social situations like a party. Surround yourself with friends with confidence so that the whole security will stick to you. Try to learn from them. Friends are also an excellent tool to increase motivation. My true friends will be happy to help you overcome your shyness and support you.
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