Waking up this morning, I never imagined what an emotional roller coaster today would be. I spent a few hours on Steemit this morning, sipping my coffee, then I took a shower, and got ready for the appointment I had with my psychiatrist, Dr. Andrews. Before leaving, I thought to myself, Maybe I'll do a #haturday post later, and I snapped a pic before leaving the house. Happy #haturday by the way. 😉

When I entered Dr. Andrew's office, we talked about the weather a bit, and then got down to business. Much of our conversation today revolved around Jared. I told him the severity of our situation because his depression has lasted so long, and he's barely been able to get off the couch. I told him about the CPS investigation, as well as our dire financial situation. I said that Jared has been on the waiting list to see someone for months, and I asked Dr. Andrews if there's anything he can do to move Jared up on the list and get him in to see someone as soon as possible. He obliged, and said he would try to work something out. I hope and pray he follows through...

Then he asked me, "Do you know the fastest way to stop depression? It's not covered by insurance."

I replied, "exercise?"

He shook his head no. "Have you ever heard of the street drug Special K? Ketamine?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it."

"That's the fastest way to heal depression, and it works almost instantly."

Special K? The anesthetic? The date rape drug? What was he talking about? Has he lost his marbles in his old age??

He proceeded to tell me that IV infusions at a lower dose heal depression. It's a little known treatment for severe, treatment resistant, or bi-polar depression, and there is a very high success rate with it. He told me there are dozens of Ketamine clinics in the US, and there is one near Minneapolis. No referral needed, an anesthesiologist does the outpatient procedure, and depression is instantly lifted. It almost seems too good to be true! He said just one treatment could be enough to lift Jared out of his depression, but he recommends 3 treatments to really cause a long term therapeutic effect. Here's the catch, it's not covered by insurance, and it costs $350 for one treatment. Dr. Andrews told me that Johnson and Johnson is working on a nasal spray, and he is convinced that this will be covered by insurance within a year. Most antidepressants take up to 8 weeks to work, and the mental health field is being revolutionized by this breakthrough!

My thoughts started racing, and my hope for our situation was revived. I started rolling around ideas on how to raise the funds for this. Time is of the essence here.

When I got home I started crying happy tears as I told Jared everything that Dr. Andrews said. Then I messaged my mother in law and told her about it. She said she would look into it more, and I said I would too.

Upon researching Ketamine treatment, I found out that much is unknown as to why it has such a positive effect, but the outcome is that it drastically increases protein synthesis in the brain. Dr. Andrews even told me that it halts the progression of Alzheimer's disease if caught quickly enough. Here is an article explaining Ketamine in greater depth.

Jared and I watched testimonials from those who have been healed by Ketamine treatments. Multiple times we heard them explain how depression was just lifted off of them within minutes of starting the IV transfusion. Here's one woman who has reaped the benefits of this miracle.

My hope was that Jared's mom would see the importance of his depression being cured in this way, and would act. We hoped that she would help financially in trying this treatment for Jared, as I don't know who else we could turn to for this. I emphasized how important this is, and if Jared doesn't get better, nothing will get better, in fact everything would get much, much worse. I said everything short of asking her to take out a loan, but I was really holding onto hope that she'd volunteer to. She messaged back, saying

I was researching when I was at lunch. While it may be an effective treatment, it seems it is out of reach for the every day individual. The only other thing you could check into is if he could be enrolled in a clinical trial. If that is not an option, you guys are going to have to go the traditional route. Something must be done quickly though.

Reality set in as I started realizing this is probably out of our reach and unfeasible. Even if we had the $350 for one treatment, there's gas to get to Minnesota. Dr. Andrews suggests 3 infusions to really make a difference, and the clinic suggests 6. 3 over the course of a few days would be over $1000, and we would need a hotel to stay at in the area for that time, and money for food. This raises the cost substantially. Within the course of a couple of hours, my hope turned to despair, and I started crying all over again. I don't think there is any way we will be able to raise the money. I so wish I knew about this when we got our tax return, because we would've made this happen. We most likely would've been able to avoid all the trouble of these past few months. There would've been no need to self medicate, no CPS, he would've gotten a job, and we wouldn't have bills piling up. Knowing all of this could've been avoided breaks my heart.

Ketamine treatment may be out of reach for us, but if you suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, or are bi-polar, and if you have the means, I encourage you to look into this.

Thanks for reading.

Love, snowpea ❤