Dear Inber, I'm so sorry for your pain and I think it's really terrible don't have the right "answer" to our pain! As in your coutry, also here in Italy psychological problems is kind of a stigma, and even if many italians go to psychotherapist or to psychiatrists, it's like a "bad secrets" to say! I worked for many years between many psychoterapists and psychiatrists (they were my collegues and friends too), so I've never had problems to talk with someone who could understand these kind of pain. Some years ago I was in a very "dark" mood. I spent some days as a "normal" Silvia and immediatly after, some days crying, feeling my self always tired and feeling tat everything around myself was wrong. It's difficult to explain, but it was a very bad time. Fortunately my collegues gave me the right adviced and, at first, I did many clinic examinations and, at the end, a specialist discovered that my "disorders" was because my thyroid didn't work well as before. I'm taking care of my thyroid using the right medicine, but I still have some "dark days", but I know why and just to know it helps me. When my depression is very hard I take my pills and wait that the darkness finish. So, I would not say that my problems is the same problem of you, I just want to say that you absolutely have to find the right specialist (psychotherapist, psychiatrist or others). Sometimes it's hard and long, but the right specialist is the better solution. A big hug, dear Inber, you're a great person and this is a thing that the dark days can't be change!