Loss. Whether it's an experience of a death of someone special to you or a sudden break up from a relationship,all of these situations tears us apart. It pulls us down making us devastated and frustrated about ourselves and our lives. We experienced this before and its definitely a painful one. When someone dies and you are attached to that person emotionally it shreds your heart to pieces slowly with excruciating pain. When my cousin who was living with us died because of electrical shock at school it left me horrified and very upset that he left with such a tragic accident. Maybe this feeling of intense pain is the same feeling that lovers felt when they were cheated on and left with a broken heart. Different events,same agonizing desolation.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, , with her book on "On Death and Dying" emphasized 5 Stages of Grief people typically response to loss.
People who had experienced loss in their lives go through these stages. Sometimes it may not be experienced in order and sometimes there are also people who will be stucked on a particular stage.
1. DENIAL
The first stage of grief wherein we tend to refuse and to accept the loss or the heartbreak that we experienced. We feel that everything is meaningless and that we are carrying the world on our shoulders.
2.ANGER
Anger is a strong feeling of being upset or annoyed because something bad happened. This feeling is only natural because you are still trying to accept the sorrow that you are feeling.
3.BARGAINING
During this period of grief,you will act in a way that you will do anything for the life of that person to be spared. Or you will tell your partner to get back with you and that you'll do everything for the relationship to be patched up.
4. DEPRESSION
Since we bargained enough and that nothings happening to our pleas we then fall into anxiety and depression. This is the longest stage of grief and that people who are experiencing depression will feel that everything doesnt have any meaning and that life is not worthy. Always remember that this is not a mental disorder but an appropriate response to a moment of sorrow. But if depression is still present for a long period of time then you may already have a problem.
5. ACCEPTANCE
The last stage of grief wherein there is a realization that one is physically gone and we need to accept the reality. We hate to accept the existing reality but we dont have any choice but to move on. We must continue to live for our life and for the ones left behind.
We need to live again. We need to fall in love again or to continue with our lives even after the misery that we have experienced. Since we only have one life and part of appreciating the worth of this life is to accept that life will not always be cupcakes and rainbows.
I remember reading this when I went through my breakup. The anger and grief overwhelmed me and had me thinking and acting irrational. This was the most dangerous part of the five stages because I could have lost a friend and someone who will always be important to me because I was venting that frustration and anger at them after the fact. Fortunately, I was able to put everything into perspective very quickly, I apologized for my immature behavior and feel that I went through a tremendous growth period. Today I can say that because I was able to self-reflect and understand I couldn't continue to stay in the Anger and Grief stages, I am in a much better place and have a decent relationship with my ex.
To anyone going through these first two stages, things can and will get better if you let them. Get yourself to Acceptance as quickly as you can and remember how powerful the way you treat your ex can positively or negatively affect any potential friendship but even more importantly, your own self image. Be the best possible version of yourself and you will be rewarded.
I agree, we all have our stories to tell regarding with grief and heartbreaks. Its not easy and it hurts like hell. When we experience this kind of pain we tend to divert our frustrations to people who cares for us and gets insanely mad about the world. When you had gone through a lot of pain in your life, the more skilled you are in accepting the twists and turns in life. I realized as I aged,that your self-worth and how you deal with pain develops through time and thats what emotional maturity is all about.
I've lost a lot of people in my life. One thing I've found is that these days I often (not always) go through the grieving process more quickly.
Yes sometimes when pain is already piled up we will go numb and empty. I also lost some people in my life and going through these stages is definitely not an easy job.
classmate good post, this is very applicable.. When people leave us it leaves a mark in our hearts and sometimes too hard to accept it.
Yes classmate. This post is very timely too because my friends tikla and @mon072591 is suffering from heartaches caused by the people they love.
it's OK classmate they're used to it nah..whahahaah
Sad reality