Reduce Negative Emotions: 0
Stay cool and manage stress: 4
Be Assertive and Express difficult Emotions when needed: 1
Stay Proactive not reactive in the face of a difficult person: 3
Bounce back from adversity: 4
Express intimate emotions in close, personal relationships: 0
5 when drunk
Score: a solid 2.
I consider myself quite emotionally intelligent , but now I think I am emotionally stunted, the ones where I scored myself higher I know are from growing up and work-related , I don't try to reduce negative emotions in myself although maybe I do if you count the fact that I don't get sad or lonely I tend to only get angry and quiet (internalizing). If I am not angry and quiet I am normal.
Staying cool, maybe a bit of a cheat but I just don't care enough about most things to lose my cool, and I completely count being angry and quiet as keeping my cool.
Be assertive... at this point, it feels like repetition as to how I handle situations.
Maybe I do not have high emotional intelligence but I understand myself and personally it has always benefited me to internalize all emotional issues I might have, I work through them with the only external states I feel are acceptable for me to show being anger(grumpy) and normal (you know the laugh, chat, act things)
I obviously have a lot to learn from this article, but thought that I might add my way, since from what I understand it also depends on a person's "environment" and I think there are too many factors to as I did above just score someone as low Emotional Intelligence.
Getting better at it?
I honestly do not know if I want to.
That's an interesting way to measure the intelligence, although I have to ask how did you decided on those numbers?
Measuring this type of things is probably impossible to accomplish in a objective way. But by knowing ourselves we can tell if we have a good enough understanding or if we lack it.
Being angry and quiet is not always bad, since we don't need to share absolutely everything, but saving strong emotions just for ourselves can become something unsustainable in the long term.
I wonder why you aren't sure if getting better at this is good?
To get the number out of 5, I tried to be honest and I could only be if I thought about any scenarios where I had the choice to do either the item or the opposite and the more I remember doing the opposite the lower I scored it. 0 indicating that only 10% of the time I might do what is recommended in the item list.
I think that I am able to identify what I feel and manage it although what I feel is not good , the only effect it has on those around me is to keep them away from me either by avoidance or emotionally not trying to connect which stops them from becoming a problem as I see faced by these people who are too involved in others life's and that is because they have an emotional need to be filled either by family or any drama really.
I am able to fully identify someone else's state as it where, either by obviously seeing but mostly by observing demeanour, voice etc as people tend to fake emotional states so much that knowing whether someone is sad and to respond, does not have anything to do with emotional intelligence, being sympathetic can be a purely analytic thing to do.
I can remember being the way I am since childhood, I have had my ups and down, and with each one the solution was to "feel less", not a technical term or intelligent term but a working term. :)
With that explained the best I can, I really hope it does explain a little.
I don't think I would do the effort to get better at managing my own emotional intelligence since looking at those around me, the higher their "emotional intelligence" is, the lower their logical reasoning seems to be.... yip going to stick with that last phrase