The stages we go through in order to admit we were wrong are painful, not easy--it takes work.
We need to embrace the fact, that we can do this work. Acts of being humble, or forgiving create openings for huge waves of peace to enter us. This is the nature of surrender. At times it is mandatory to make it up to the next step of wholeness.
The surrender after being wrong is part of the peace making process, with others and within ourselves.
Let's take a moment to unpack this concept.
Everyday we are making judgements about right and wrong. These values are not only instilled by our upbringing and experience. Can you imagine: we are also influenced by energetic and physiological structures? These 2 pieces, one is a little "woo" while the other is scientific. I personally have no trouble believing in both simultaneously, let's see if I can convince you.
Scientifically, our physiological design determines our wiring, how stress is regulated, the level of function... Some of us react quicker or slower based on nothing more than the chemicals circulating at the moment or the wiring of our inherited network. The variety of types of people is infinite and amazing. Everyone has a purpose and a role, but paradoxes and clashes are guaranteed between different people and within the self. These physical machines that we live in will create problems that we have to learn to forgive and be humble about.
And on the "woo" side of things, we are energy. Different energy is flowing around us and through us. This is a very subtle field that can move like the weather. We act on signals that we can't necessarily point out sometimes, things that aren't based off of experience or our physical being. Sometimes feelings can't be explained, but they can be right or wrong, and they fall into the equation of a factor we have to deal with in the decisions we make.
Isn't is interesting when you consider that you might be wrong or you have made a mistake, dealing with it seems like a ton of work? You ignore, hope no one will notice and maybe it will go away? The truth is, everything we chose has consequence, and this word "consequence" isn't necessarily bad, it means an effect. It can be intended, or not, but the actions we take will continue on after they are made. Everything we do carries on a life, sometimes short, sometimes longer.
When we are wrong or we are trying to convince another person they "they are wrong." This takes us to our deepest level of belief. For the ego to submit is one thing, but to change a behavior, or to undo an event that has already taken place, the work involves digging to the deepest layers of self:
Behaviors are structured by beliefs
Beliefs are structured by Identity
Identity comes from Spirituality
That is the path we have to travel if we want to either forgive ourselves or others for being wrong. In order to do so, we also need to look at The Change Curve, which is directly related to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' work from 1969. She was a trailblazer in hospice research. You see, if you admit fault a part of you dies. When you are in a struggle with someone, for them to let go of their "truth" their "point of view" you are directly threatening their ego and spirituality.
Arguments about wrong and right, no matter how superficial and trivial they can be, can quickly go to a core level.
Politics are the ego in action. When we see and hear the news, we might think we are seeing people in action, but it's always a reflection or ourselves and our reality. If you follow cryptos or you follow politics, it's not just you watching, it is you exploring your own identity. The judgements you make, the values you attach, these are a direct reflection of who you are, the core of your spiritual beliefs, even if that belief is atheism.
To me this explains why watching the drama in the news can affect us personally at a gut level sometimes, if we don't consciously practice creating boundaries and self care. I will write many more articles on this topic.
If you look at the change curve below, you will notice it is like looking at your favorite cryptocoin going down in value. It kind of hurts when you are in the low of a dip, but the truth is, when it comes to you integrating and accepting your faults and failures, it's just a matter of time before the next big gain! The sun will rise again!
engaging diagram. thought provoking statement there: how does Individuality come from Spirituality? curious to hear you
That is a pretty bold statement-- to say Identity comes from Spirituality... This is to mean, that spirituality: whether it be the belief in nothing, or a very dogmatic religion, or a free flowing abundant energy, whatever it is that lays under us as the base of foundation and meaning of existence -- when it comes to changing a mind, or truly admitting a fault we are asked to revisit this base layer.
What comes before us, what comes before individuality = spirituality (or nothing, either way), but that etherial base is what our identity is "built" upon (like blockchain-- just kidding). But that base upon which we build can feel under attack as time brings up new information, conflicts, failures and it is like an earthquake. We learn to adapt and be more fluid and rebuild after wrongs. I feel like the concept that is introduced in my writing is to visualize the process of going within and recognizing why admitting failure can be so difficult. When you start seeing the big picture, that we are moving through these various layers together as people, that we get frustrated when people don't understand us right away-- it's because it takes time to process through the layers. Forgiveness can take a year or more depending on what level of depth it involves working with. But we can protect ourselves, be less afraid, see that we don't have to give up what we aren't ready to or can't, and be seeing the layers we can pin point why.
In summary: Individuality comes from the depth of mystery and returns there. Failures, disagreements, faults, and conflicts return us to that base, and there will be where forgiveness is found and openings will occur. And "if not" then this is acceptable also, but one still has to journey to the baseline.