To not give "expression" to negative emotions, a positive work method in my view, is not the same as not feeling them.
Jean Vaysse writes:
"There is, however, one area in which a man who wishes to observe himself runs no risk. He can engage in a struggle with emotional habits that will show him a whole side of his habitual emotional functioning - this struggle is the attempt not to express unpleasant emotions. He who observes himself very soon notices that he is unable to observe anything impartially; this is particularly true for what he sees in himself, but also for what he sees outside himself. About every single thing, he has a personal 'feeling': 'I don't care,' 'I like it,' or 'I dislike it.' But whereas he can easily refrain from expressing his agreement or indifference, it is almost impossible for him not to express his disaproval in one way or another. This easily becomes a habit and is often even taken as a sign of sincerity. The negative impression received in such a case is expressed in some form of violence, contentiousness or depression - anger, jealousy, fault-finding, suspicion, worry, fear, self-pity, and so on. In all these forms some expression of personal negativity replaces the simple expression which flows from just noting the facts as they are. These forms bear witness to my inability to keep my personal grievances to myself and to a tendency to let them gush out over my surroundings so as not 'to feel alone' - to make others share them and to try to get rid of them in that way. This is both a sign of my own weakness, my incapacity to accept myself and things as they are, and an enormous and useless waste of energy which I impose also on those near me in a chain reaction which spreads and multiplies the negativity. Now this is one of the few emotional processes which can be cut short without risk of harmful consequences. Brought to bear on the expression of negative emotions (for it is their outer expression which needs to be restrained and not the emotions themselves), this struggle in no way upsets the inner equilibrium. It only involves the saving of a considerable amount of energy which would have been totally lost if spent externally but which, being saved in this way, can be used for other purposes. At the same time, it allows the observer to discover in himself an entirely new aspect of the emotional process with which he lives.:
Toward Awakening, Jean Vaysse, p. 44, 45
Thanks for sharing that @onceuponatime... reflects a lot of a long personal journey.
I grew up with a father who was a highly expressive rageaholic, which meant that I learned that anger "looks like" shouting, screaming and throwing and breaking things. The "unhealthy expression," which was quite frightening. So I rationalized my "not wanting to be like him" by internalizing and suppressing all anger... and (in essence) not experiencing it, in ANY way; having no model for healthy experience.
It was actually one of my mentors and spiritual teachers who first bought up "unexperienced emotions" for me (after some years of therapy taught me a more healthy form of anger) as I learned how to become "the observer" and made myself more at home with the concept of nonduality.
In particular resonates for its truth... anger can be a very use emotion which, when experienced and processed appropriately, can be a superb catalyst for change... for what IS anger but a reminder from our essential self that "something" is different from how we feel that "something" should actually be.
Appreciate the input, as always!
I also had a rage-aholic father who suppressed his frustration and anger from the business world for weeks or months before releasing it from time to time by beating my siblings and myself.
Consequently I had suppressed rage that I took out on myself for a long time (became a raging drug addict). Fortunately, I eventually found my way into a few years of mens groups and then many emotional release intensives. In the intensives, we did give expression to our negative emotions, but in a very controlled, contained, and safe atmosphere.
In one intensive it was jaw droppingly amazing to see a tiny German woman, who had been repeatedly raped by her grandfather from the age of 2 onwards after the War, push back and almost bowl over a group of 10 volunteers surrounding her with pillows as she let go.
I don't think that I bottle up negative emotion so much any more. I also don't think that I give (unconscious) expression to it. Or maybe I'm just getting old :-)