Farewall Steemit: On Psychopathy and Love

in #psychology7 years ago (edited)

Hello, Steemit friends. Thank you for all your support.

I have been silent for longer than usual, and I'm afraid I am going to have to stay that way, probably permanently.

The situation is that I know my recent ex, who I have slowly come to realize is a textbook psychopath, may read this. I can't write here, knowing that. The abuse I have experienced over the past year would chill you; a friend of mine who is accustomed to such things in his work still said some of the instances "shock the conscience." But I won't go into them.

I will, however, ask you to please read this extremely accurate article on psychopathic relationships. It aligns so flawlessly with what I have undergone that I could have written it myself, leaving nothing out but the quotations and psychological terms. (But if I had thought of it, I sure as hell would have also used their term "emotional rape.")

And I did not know enough about this behavior in advance to spot it. So this is a sort of public service announcement as well as a farewell: even if you never get involved with such a person, it's good to be able to spot an abusive psychopath/sociopath/narcissist for the sake of your friends. These monsters exist and you will likely know one at some point.

There is a cheesy but highly useful model invented by John Van Epp, Ph. D., for avoiding getting into an abusive relationship. It's called RAM.

The idea behind RAM is that you should deal with a potential partner, no matter how much you like them, by only entering into the stages to the right after confirming the stage to the left. The reason for this is that all of these elements enhance intimacy and bonding, so if for example you get sexually involved with someone or dependent on them before you even really know them, much less trust them, your heart can run away with you and blind you to abuse. Abusers know this and purposefully accelerate relationships with sex, bonding experiences, and grandiose expressions of admiration and adoration. Epp suggests that you pace relationships purposefully to maintain your head.

Please be careful out there and don't let predators blur your judgment by using human emotions as their weapons. If you meet someone who almost instantly is the most wonderful, amazing person ever, calm down as much as you can and apply pace. Any decent person will not pressure you. Any decent person will respect your boundaries instead of trying to tear them down.

Thanks.

Sort:  

So sorry to hear about your situation @noelletwine and that it's driving you off Steemit. I will pray for your safe exit into a peaceful place in life and hope you can return to this place which I found to be so positive / supportive. May God Bless You

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry to see you go. You will be missed! (Maybe consider a new account??)

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you find a way to return somehow. I know I haven't been commenting much on your posts, but I've been reading and loving all of them. You will be very much missed.

Thank you. Your support always meant the most!

Crazy? If you were crazy, would you know it? Could you know it?

Congratulations @noelletwine! You have received a personal award!

Happy Birthday - 1 Year on Steemit
Click on the badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.

For more information about this award, click here

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Following you! +UP

Congratulations @noelletwine! You have received a personal award!

2 Years on Steemit
Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
SteemitBoard World Cup Contest - The results, the winners and the prizes

Do you like SteemitBoard's project? Then Vote for its witness and get one more award!

Congratulations @noelletwine! You received a personal award!

Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!

You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking

Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!