My Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Journey // Week 4 // Analysis of My Current Overwhelming Negative Thought Process // Thought Traps and How to Challenge Them
Current Situation
My elderly cat is sick. Yesterday I found what appears to be an ear hematoma which is a large, ballon type of bump inside of his ear. It is making his ear droop down and he is clearly bothered by it.
He has been meowing more than usual the last few weeks and it seemed to me that he was hard of hearing because he didn’t hear me when he couldn’t see me. I assumed it was just part of his old age (he is now 18)
Over the last few years we have been experiencing financial problems and we barely have enough to get by as it is which is a source of constant stress in itself. We have been taking steps to work our way back to financial stability.
If we had the money or credit available then I would have taken him to the vet, but we don’t.
So, I assumed it was just part of the natural health decline of his age because he was still happily purring and eating.
Now, after researching ear hematomas, I have found that they are usually caused by ear mites.
I am assuming now that this could explain his possible hearing loss.
I found the hematoma yesterday (Saturday) at 4pm. Our vet was already closed. I called a few other vets but they didn’t have any availability. We do not have the money to go to the animal hospital which charges much more than a regular vet visit. I made an appointment for Monday morning at the regular vet. We will be borrowing money to help him.
The hematoma can heal on its own. Eventually the fluid will re-absorb back into the ear, but it will likely cause what they call Cauliflower ear where the ear shrinks and becomes deformed. The hematoma also has a chance of recurring if I let it heal on its own. I found online natural herbs that can be used to treat it and we bought some, but it doesn’t appear to be doing a damn thing.
Shane (The husband) has informed me that the worst case scenario may be that we have to let it heal on its own depending on the vet fee for removal of the hematoma. There is only so much money we can borrow. It will break my heart if I can't help him.
So these are the current facts.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the process of challenging negative thoughts and understanding that it is not the situation that causes us emotional distress, but our reaction to it that causes our emotional distress.
It is normal for anyone to feel some emotional distress when a loved one is hurting and you don’t have the financial means to help them, but I have taken steps to help (borrowing money and making the appointment) which should help to ease my stress a bit.
But my emotional distress is not eased in the slightest and my mind is being bombarded with a plethora of negative thoughts. Some of these thoughts aren’t even related to the situation at hand and are completely irrational.
I’m going to list these negative thoughts and try to challenge them.
My Current Negative Thoughts
- My cat is going to die
- I’m a horrible cat mother because I didn’t know that he had ear mites
- I’m a horrible cat mother because I let the situation get this bad due to ignorance and assumptions
- I’m a horrible person because I don’t have the money to help him right now
- Everything in my life is a mess and this situation is just an example of what a complete loser I am
- My parents hate me and think that I’m a loser
- My cat feels that I have abandoned him because I am not helping him right now
- Since my defense mechanism is to hide away when I am experiencing deep low mood and anxiety, people hate me because I am not making myself available to talk to them.
- My cat is sick and therefore all my other cats are sick
- My cat is sick and therefore I am sick and I’m going to die
- All the work that I’ve been doing for CBT is for nothing because I am completely failing so what is the point of even trying to change when clearly I can not.
- My husband is going to divorce me because I’m pathetic, negative, emotional wreck.
- Because I am swimming in whirlwind of emotional negativity I am seeing every interaction in a negative way which makes everything worse. That is why I hide away when it gets this bad.
These Negative Thoughts Can Be Categorized Into What Are Called Thought Traps
1. All or Nothing thinking
- Extreme, black and white thinking
- Ex. One thing goes wrong therefore everything is wrong
- Ex. It is either perfect or it is a mess. There is no in-between
2. Over-generalization
- One negative event is proof that all events will be negative
- Ex. My cat is sick therefore everything in my life is shit
3. Mental Filter
- One negative detail overshadows any positive details
- Ex. We can’t afford to help our cat overshadows the solution of borrowing money and making an appointment
4. Disqualifying the Positive
- Ex. My cat’s ear will likely be better by tomorrow night but that doesn’t matter because right now it isn’t and everything is shit
5. Jumping to Conclusions
- These are usually completely irrational and involve fortune telling, mind reading, an negative interpretations without facts.
- Ex. My cat is sick therefore he is going to die
- Ex. My cat hates me and so does everyone else
- We have money problems and soon we will be living in a cardboard box under a bridge
6. Magnification
- More irrationality
- Ex. My cat is sick and we don’t have money therefore I’m going to die
7. Emotional Reasoning
- Convincing yourself that your irrational negative thoughts/emotions are really the way things are.
- Ex. I feel like a failure, therefore I am
Challenging Thoughts
Step 1 - Catching thoughts
Step 2 - Looking for Evidence
Step 3 - Looking for Evidence based alternative thoughts
I was warned by the counselor that I would have good and bad days.
I wasn’t able to catch any of these thoughts and they all turned into negative emotions.
Writing this and analyzing it has helped a bit and I can logically see how my irrational fear based thoughts are in fact irrational so I'm working on replacing them with evidence based alternative thoughts.
massive hug waves and comfort food sent your way. sends colors to relieve the black and white, and paint brushes do you can paint your way out.
img credz: pixabay.com
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To receive an upvote send 0.25 SBD to @minnowpond with your posts url as the memo To receive an reSteem send 0.75 SBD to @minnowpond with your posts url as the memo To receive an upvote and a reSteem send 1.00SBD to @minnowpond with your posts url as the memo@reported has voted on behalf of @minnowpond. If you would like to recieve upvotes from minnowponds team on all your posts, simply FOLLOW @minnowpond.
To receive an upvote send 0.25 SBD to @minnowpond with your posts url as the memo To receive an reSteem send 0.75 SBD to @minnowpond with your posts url as the memo To receive an upvote and a reSteem send 1.00SBD to @minnowpond with your posts url as the memoSome things are just beyond our control. There are always going to be good and bad days because it isn't something that is ever "finished." It's a continual process of getting better at handling these things over time. The fact that you still care enough try is an accomplishment in itself. Just know that not everyone hates you, I can't speak for everyone but I know a lot of us love you, and even if you don't get to control what happens, it'll be okay.
If you can afford coconut oil, extra virgin, every day put some on the lump.
One of my pack had a lump on his ear, and I felt I should use coconut oil on it. I put some in a small metal container which I heated around three / four times a day at least so that it was just warm oil. I dabbed some on the lump. For a day or so nothing happened, and then it began to shrivel slightly and crust. I kept on doing this for around three weeks at least until it flattened. Now the mark has gone altogether and no one would ever guess it was there.
However, you do need to sort out the ear mite problem via vet. That is seriously ruining his health.
Just an idea.
As a follower of @followforupvotes this post has been randomly selected and upvoted! Enjoy your upvote and have a great day!
It's really wonderful that you're taking the time to write this out. The value compounds each time you write out an honest journal. Looking back at these is one of the best ways you can show yourself that you are, in fact, making progress. The more consistently you do so, the more hard evidence you'll have of your recovery. Then, on the bad days, you can look back and know that it's meaningful.
Small steps, shoulders down, keep pushing. You've got this.
Hugs from Newfoundland. Sending all of love for you and your cat. :)
I never know that one of my cats has ear mites until they start scratching their ears a lot. Then I use the ear mite ear drops that I got from the local pet store. They take longer to work than the drops that you get from the vet, but they're way cheaper.
As for the negative thoughts, that can escalate pretty quickly, and it's not that easy to catch. Talking yourself back down is the important part.
So much jargon for life-ails common to everyday man! Smh! That in itself, could cause a panic attack. Research shows there's a theory for nearly every day of the year.
First off, I am very sad for your cat's problem. Have you researched natural healing treatments for such things? I don't know why; but, dabbing a little cotton ball with apple-cider vinegar might offer relief.
DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS...I AM NOT A VET!...:+)
May I suggest deep-breathing and centered focus that GOD IS IN CONTROL...and THERE'S NOTHING TOO HARD FOR HIM.
Have you considered yoga? YouTube has several vids for beginners.
Have you considered a go-fund-me for your vet fees? I know people tend to be very generous with pets needing care. If you create a page make sure you do a post with Steemit so the community can help as possible.
Take care...I pray you'll accept things as they come.
Peace.
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<3 Aww...so much heartache there, Isaria!! I hope your kitty gets better soon. And I hope you can break that spiral thought cycle too. Lots of love to you and let me know if I can help.