Hi, guys!
This time I will not talk about my bipolar disorder, but about another problem I have and I know that a lot of people also have - social anxiety.
At the moment I manage to deal with it, more or less. But time to time it attacks me again.
Earlier it was a huge problem for me o even go to the market and buy some bread. A single thought that I'll have to talk to the vendor made me feel sick. When I grew up I thought a lot about the reasons why it happened, and came to the conclusion that probably everything was hidden in my childhood. My first years were spent in a really cold region where kids usually don't play outside a lot, and then, when I went to school I suffered from bulling a lot. So I just got locked inside myself and subconsciously expected something bad from everyone I met in my life.
Later it transformed to aggression. Yes, I was a really controversial, unpleasant person. And again it took me years to understand that I was doing it for my own protection (again, subconsciously). Still it's quite easy to provoke me on an aggressive reaction.
But despite this fact phobia didn't go anywhere. With years I learned to communicate with people when I see them, and with different messengers (my favorite type of communication, probably one of the reasons why I'm a blogger), but I still have lots of difficulties with talking to new people or especially with phone calls and video chats. The last one is the worst. I really HATE skype, and when I have to have a video call (for example with my clients) - a panic attack is guaranteed.
Even when my husband was on a business trip and we tried to have a video call I was really confused and it ended after 20 seconds. I just felt frozen and could not talk, even with my hubby whom I know for 8 years. Creepy? Yep. creepy.
What I'm leading to. It's not always an impoliteness or deliberate rudeness if someone behaves strange. For example my mother-in-law was offended on me because she thought that I fake that I don't here her when she was asking me questions. When in fact I was thinking too long about the answers and more then that - tried to make myself talk. But it's another story, plus she's a huge extrovert and talks too much.
Sometimes you just need to wait a bit and see what the person really is:)
I wish you all the best and will be happy if you'll support me with vote:)
Love, Inber
I have social anxiety as well but I plow through it like walking through deep snow. Eventually the snow melts and I end up having a great time. People don't understand us introverts, we take a lot of time before we start talking but once we start it's hard to shut us up! hahhaha
Keep on walking @inber, plow through the sensations, that's all this is, just sensations <3
I also have periods when snow melts, but in general... And yes, it takes a lot of time to start talking, but if we're interested in topic we also can be talkative:)
Thank you for giving motivation for beginner like me your post very interesting good luck @inber
I recognize myself in a part of your post i suffered from social anxiety sometimes when my anxia get higher, i did reac aggressive too sometimes but in most of the cases i jusat want to hide myself and see no one, it' s hard because i work with people all day it almost make me fall in a born out sometimes..I resteem you, people must know more about these kind of disturb..
I know exactly what you are talking about, as I was experiencing very same a few years ago. In hindsight, I recognized for myself that the root cause for this inner uncomfortability was that my energy and beliefs were not in resonance with theirs. It didn't require any conversation to find out what makes them tick, I simply felt it. So basically, their energetic footprint intruded my very own energetic footprint. And my consequent feeling of discomfort was merely telling me that I don't want any external energy or belief to be imposed over me. Instead, I should follow my own energy and beliefs. As I became more aware of that step for step, and followed my own energy and beliefs, not only did I receive internal proof that this was the right choice but I also noticed that my inner beliefs and and energy became more resilient and steadfast. This way I naturally started becoming more comfortable with such situations because my energetic footprint was more difficult to be intruded by others.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes! :)
perfectly what you say friend and what has happened to you in your life that is that phobia, the same thing does not happen to me if not something similar is to try to socialize with people. But there I am improving in that. I hope someday it will not affect you so much what you experienced in your childhood. @inber
I hope so too, I'm working on that:)
The subconscious mind of yours doesn't let you be a social animal. Since it started in your early childhood , it might be the defense mechanism because of which you freeze. Anxiety is an unpleasent felling or fear of irrational places,faces or facts. The fear that you are having is rational to you,but irrational to other masses. That's what anxiety is. So to coup up with this take minor steps,and gradually you will overcome it.