Absolute respect for your openness and for bringing your illness closer.
As someone who has already been treated for depression, I can at least have a little sympathy for some things - but only to some extent. I know the thought "wouldn't it be better for everyone just to put an end to my life" even too well..... Luckily I haven't had these thoughts for a few years now, but it's always a fight when I'm not doing so well for a few days.
A regular daily routine is also extremely important to me. I noticed this especially in the 2 years when this was not possible due to irregular working hours. Where absolutely nothing could be planned during the week. That was partly really incriminating.
I wish you all the best for the future!