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RE: Psychology Addict # 47 | Putting Ourselves in Other’s Shoes

in #psychology6 years ago

Hello Hello Hello!

This is a quite interesting post for me cause i struggle to understand myself in terms of empathy. As you know people are really open with me as i am a good listener and give good advises (at least that's what i have been told :P)

each time i here a story,a problem and issue someone has even if i don't know him i try to understand his/her perspective. I unconsciously may "walk in their shoes" but it's not intentional as i try to be objective given the current data merging with how i see the world.

Thus i never get depressed nor cry even if we are talking about a close to me person. I don't know why exactly that happens to me, i may worry, i may try to do anything to help but i won't cry or be sad.

I also have a similar example like the one you mentioned with the fire. A couple of months ago in Athens a huge fire, or to be exact multiples fires came up in areas full of people and forests. Over 100 people burnt to ashes and basically a whole town destroyed. During that time everywhere, from greek sites-tv-radio channels to english ones were talking about that event.

The stories of the people that died and survived were one of a kind (they found a couple of people burnt to ashes all hugged together). People cried, people went to help even 2-3 weeks after the event but the majority just continuous with their lives

I think even those that volunteered after a while they just continued with their lives as it was nothing, the only ones that were affected deeply were people that lost relatives,friends,houses etc etc. I remember myself feeling anger cause of the reasons the fire broke out and innocent people lost their lives and not so much sorrow and sadness.

Maybe is this part of human evolution? We just keep adapting to everything and moving on to the next thing?

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Hello @filotasriza 😃

I am just more and more convinced you would make a wonderful therapist ;)

You have just made me see why your friends are comfortable with coming to you for advice and comfort: because at the same time you empathize with their distress you are also able to be objective, as no emotions cloud your judgement. It appears to me you resort to cognitive empathy when dealing with them :) There is absolutely nothing to worry about it.

I did see on the news, and here on Steemit as well about the catastrophic fire that devastated many lives in your country this summer. I am so sorry about that Filos :(

And here you are again, using your cognitive empathy :) whilst you feel for the lives that were lost in the disaster, while you get frustrated by the apparent lack of emotions that some people seem to demonstrate you also rationalize it and question this 'cold-heartedness' as a result of human adaption.

Well, as cruel as it may be, this is a good thing, right? Whether we move on because of lack of empathy or resilience it is important that we do, as individuals and societies. Can you imagine if we had to 'pause' ours lives every time something terrible happens in the world?

Finally, it is also important to keep in mind each individual has their very own ways of feeling sad, of mourning; which we all ought to respect. I doubt very much that my neighbors had any idea of how upset I was about the event when they saw me outside last Sunday morning. As I just greeted them as if it were just another day, while they walked by.

Life is a strange thing sometimes!

Thank you once again for sharing your incredible reflections here with me my dear. Lots of love to you from Portugal! :*

ahh now i felt a relief knowing that i am not insensitive! thanks a lot for that it's a huge relief i repeat!

I am just more and more convinced you would make a wonderful therapist ;)

i guess i should switch careers now that it's early :p