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Confessions Part II
It is a tool available to everyone for your enjoyment
Fantasies are a core element in the processes of stimulation of sexual behavior. It also contributes to the induction, emergence and empowerment of sexual desire, understood as an authentic emotional and cognitive disposition of the subject. But in turn, fantasies can increase genital activity, establishing a positive double feedback mechanism between sexual and affective arousal.
Before going into the narrations of the fantasies, compiled in this study, I will accompany you on a seductive, fast, effective and informative trip about the main theses and scientific investigations, as well as publications through social media on the Web, where Once you have snooped, finding many controversial today. Others, perfectly agreed by the scientific community. This journey will make them question, some of those "social truths" that contribute nothing to the enjoyment of this wonderful ability to communicate as is sexuality.
In this sense, it is well known by students of emotions, the power of fantasy as a "programmer" of falling in love. It is evident, then, that they generate or enhance excitement and are an effective controlled test of situations and behaviors that are sometimes unattainable, but remain as a sweet balm of the impossible.
A very short walk through history
From Ancient Egypt we have one of the first documents that reflects the sexual behavior of the Egyptians, the Papyrus of Turin (Ancient Egyptian papyrus created approximately in 1500 BC. 12 Discovered in Dear el-Medina at the beginning of the 19th century, It has been called "the first magazine for men in the world."It measures 260 cm by 25 cm and consists of two parts, in one of them twelve vignettes with representations of men and women performing various sexual positions.
In the Egyptian Museum of Turin in Italy.) This representation could be the reflection of a sexually permissive and free society, although as in the majorities of ancient societies men enjoyed greater sexual freedom, where they could have concubines, while women had to be faithful and give themselves to the house and the care of their children. This distinction becomes more palpable in Greek society, which distinguished between citizens and non-citizens, being males belonging to the first group, who could participate in the political life of society.
Noncitizen were foreigners, slaves and women. Among the women, the only exception was the prostitutes or hetairas, ladies of companies and only cultured women, who could attend masculine meetings, discuss political issues, philosophy, poetry, even make decisions.
"Prostitution at that time was a daily activity, also enjoying a social respect."
Source
When developing a sexual fantasy, the subject programs, the episode and also orchestrates their own emotions and even the characters that star in the event. It is an anticipatory method of situations that allow to anticipate possible difficulties in real practice, hence they are used in therapies as a true cognitive strategy. On some occasions, they reflect a degree of dissatisfaction and are structurally negative. This is evident in women with low self-esteem and in dysfunctional subjects, in whom the anxiety power of fantasies is very high.
To investigate sexual fantasies is, in the end, to investigate the cultural construction that we have built on the biophysiological foundations of our dimorphic sexuality. Fantasies are a map of our cultural values, a compendium of everything we have learned and apprehended. Our senses are the doors that bring sensations to the brain. Our neural circuits allow the circulation of information that reaches us through the senses and produce a series of substances, such as dopamine, which, as explained in the article "How to recover your ex-partner", are at the base of all the delicacies that human beings can practice and dream.
Fantasies have the advantage that it is the interested people who manage the story without having to adapt to unforeseen events. They allow each person to become a protagonist without effort, to invest in the charms that he would like to have and to decide when and how the story ends and begins.
That is why the Pan American Health Organization and the World Health Organization (PAHO and WHO) recognize that fantasies are one of the diverse manifestations of human sexuality.
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DO NOT BE DECEIVED: YOU ALSO HAVE SEXUAL FANTASIES
People have erotic fantasies. It does not matter if you are Spanish or Latin American, Saxon, Asian or African; you also have them We all have a hard time talking about it to others. We try to change the subject, disguise and feel almost assaulted when they ask us about the matter. We usually respond with vagueness that does not commit us and we tend to say what is considered "politically correct". But are we really so correct in the privacy of our minds? Desmond Morris says with great success: "the" exemplary "human who enters the laboratory of a psychologist is immediately put on guard. The behavior becomes more rigorous, deliberate and forced.
People only behave spontaneously and naturally when left alone in their everyday world. " We know that not only do we put ourselves on guard in the psychologist's laboratory, but often we do so in front of our partner and with our friends. Only anonymity gives us enough confidence to speak with sincerity about everything we have inside; sometimes, we feel more secure in the face of strangers because they are not part of our daily circle and we will not see them again- or in surveys that allow us to overcome the shame of our confessions.
Before it was thought that sexual fantasies were a sign of dissatisfaction and sexual immaturity, also that masturbation and sexual pleasure were forbidden by good manners. Still, in the present, it is difficult to confess the secrets that the mind keeps about its sexuality, but the reality is that all, men and women, fantasize about sex.
Georgina Burgos, sexologist and author of the book "Project Taboo", says that "it costs us all the unspeakable to talk about erotic fantasies before others", but it sends a clear question: "are we really so corrected in the privacy of our minds?" ? "
The data of his research reveal that no, that in the private sphere 95% of people, regardless of gender or sexual preference, fantasize about sex. It is men who imagine these situations in most cases, 7 out of 10, while only 5 out of 10 women have fantasies. They feel socially ashamed for having frequent sexual fantasies, instead, they try to inflate their desires before the public to avoid being considered frigid or abnormal.
Burgos points out: "The sexual fantasy is an erotic resource as it can be a pornographic movie or a toy. While we fantasize, in the imagination, there are no consequences that this action could have in reality. Neither do we have to measure up nor are we are going to be judged. If we imagine that we perform a sexual practice that in reality can cause pain, for example, in our imagination it turns out that it is not painful and therefore, we fantasize about it with absolute freedom."
It is, after all, a tool available to anyone to enjoy a few minutes 100% pleasant.
From fantasy to reality there is a distance
In the fantasies of women, there is a tendency to add elements and adorn the scenes in a detailed way. This is a difference with respect to men.
Sexual fantasies are an additional stimulus, not the compensation of a lack, and are considered essential for the understanding of human sexual behavior.
It does not seem that the fact that women have sexual fantasies less frequently than men is due to the fact that they enjoy them less or that they cause them a greater feeling of guilt, frustration, fear or dislike. The causes should be sought in other factors. It is possible that this quantitative difference has its origin in physiological issues, such as the level of testosterone, which is higher in men. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for sexual desire in both men and women. "When testosterone is low, a significant number of women suffer dysfunction in their sexual functioning, their desire, their arousal and their orgasm being affected."
The question is: is there a difference between what they imagine and what they dream? "Between men and women there are more points in common than in discord. Even so, there are some nuances that separate them. For example, in females, there is a tendency to add elements and adorn fantasies with more details,"says Georgina Burgos.
The sexologist De Béjar, on the other hand, complements this statement with what she has seen over the years: "It is in how we imagine in what maybe there is more difference with respect to them. We are more imaginative, romantic and inclined to add more emotion to the plot of our fantasies. We are probably more than recreating the story. That is exciting to us, although in our fiction nothing physical is happening yet. "
Pulling ghostsThrough fantasies we can also be removing ghosts, fears or things that have happened to us at some time and that still stick in the subconscious.
<pAnother small nuance is the what. "There is everything, but it is true that for many generations women have chosen a fairly passive role in fantasies. The thing about dominating was something that we did not allow ourselves, because we had been educated that this is dirty and we must be discreet. This has led many women to choose fantasies where they were seen in a passive role. While men have always tended to the visual and the action. Doing or letting yourself do something, but action,"says Sylvia herself.
In this work we want to show you the results of the most recurrent sexual fantasies in women. "The most frequent is the one that involves having sex in places that have an erotic sense or that provide a plus of eroticism, like doing it in the elevator, vehicle, beach, store tester. That is to say, the place as center and erotic component. The others are the trios and have a sexual relationship with a stranger.
However, they are the most frequent does not mean they are the only ones, because there are for all tastes, as De Béjar specifies: "There are some very innocent, people who have very simple fantasies, and other very complicated." And are there any that are more perverse than others? "Yes, zoophilia is a perversion for many people, but we must remember that perversion is in the eyes of the person who looks.
The first of the data confirms the death of a cliché: female masturbation is not a minority. Just over half of the women surveyed confessed to practicing it regularly, by 59% of men, even having a stable partner. A previous work of the British portal Superdrug's Online Doctor increased to 88% the percentage of women who declared having masturbated at least once, by 96% of men.
For 69% of the women surveyed on the occasion of this new report, masturbation was understood as a way to improve their mood, and for 34%, a complement to sexual life that increases satisfaction. Next, the questions were about what they thought during the act to get excited. The answers include some other surprise.
The most frequent sexual fantasy ruins another myth, that women masturbate because their partner is not able to satisfy them in bed. Quite the opposite: 60% of the participants said they thought about their spouse and a sexy moment that they had shared together. It must be emphasized that men also declared that they preferred this type of fantasies, reinforcing the idea that "pleasure alone" is actually a shared form of sexuality.
That is, if a person who is dedicated to BDSM (bondage, submission and masochism) you tell him that you have a fantasy where they tie you and give you cheeks in the ass will tell you that silly little thing unimportant. On the other hand, if you tell a person that this does not know what it is, nor does he live it, he will tell you what a horror. You create fantasies from many things, but in any case, whatever we think, unless we are horrified by what we think, sometimes happens, anything goes. "
"Recreation in a fantasy is not synonymous, in any case, of wanting to put it into practice." What happens is that, as the sexologists explain, through fantasies we can also be removing ghosts, fears or things that have happened to us at some time and that still throb in the subconscious
In an article we are going to point out the 51 sexual fantasies that most projected the head of women, taking as premise the narrations of the women surveyed in order not to conceptualize it for this work (wait for Part II.) and serve as imagination, as a tool for the enjoyment of your thoughts.
CONFESSIONS
31 years
"I get excited thinking about the idea of my boyfriend appearing by surprise in the bedroom, grabbing me from behind and start penetrating me standing on the balcony, with the doors wide open. I do not see his face, but I feel him intensely, while I know that all the neighbors are watching us and can see the expressions of pleasure on my face and body. "
Source
29 years
"One of my fantasies of the last months is to have a trio, where I can experiment with two (02) men and I can give myself to them equally, where we put in practice many positions, without taboo. "
Source
69.77% of bisexual women fantasize frequently, compared to 51.06% of lesbians and 44.68% of heterosexual women.
32 years
"I wish An exchange of couples with my best friend, and her boyfriend is one of those visions that occasionally seizes my imagination. The truth is that both your partner and mine are great, and I think we would be comfortable."
28 years
"I want a man to give me oral sex and have an orgasm while my boyfriend watches so that in the end he will learn how to do it. "
24 years
"I want to have the super power of being able to sleep with whoever I want. Meet someone and make them want to sleep with me regardless of their sexual orientation. "
21 years
"I would love to be able to change my genitals to my liking".
36 years
"My fantasy is that I'm with some guy in a hospital and something bad happens to him, someone in his family died. He cries, I also, comfort him I kiss him and we end up getting in somewhere to do it. It's weird and I'm ashamed, but that's my fantasy. "
34 years
"I do not consider myself a lesbian, I'm happily married and I love my husband, but my fantasy is having sex with another woman."
Source
26 years
"For some reason to think about getting pregnant with my boyfriend that I like a lot, and having for once a relationship with a stranger after the 5th month."
Source
19 years
"My fantasy is to catch my boyfriend cheating on me, take the girl out of the room and show her that nobody can do it as well as I do".
37 years
"I would like to be in a retreat where we are sharing domestic and cultural experiences, and can exchange views with a woman, while we share with the rest of the ladies, and in the dynamics the guide put me to live in the same room for 2 nights and Do it with that woman, just out of curiosity. I consider myself feminine and heterosexual. But I fantasize about brushing my vagina with another woman. "
34 years
"Sometimes I fantasize that I'm going through the hospital and suddenly a very handsome stranger with a cast on one leg and an arm asks me for help to take a taxi, and I help him with his bags and get into the car, and he shows very grateful, then I offer myself to help him, because we are going through the same route, and I help him to reach his apartment, where I help him to urinate out of charity, and I end up in bed with the stranger ".
20 years
"My fantasy is that a grown man extorts me to have sex with him, and I feel compelled to see him every morning to please him in different sexual positions."
37 years
"One of my fantasies is to make my partner an erotic slave, that he can tie to the bed and make him satisfy all his desires without putting excuses".
Source
32 years
One of the favorite spots that invades my mind is going to a nudist beach and doing it freely while the guys in the awning next to me observe me and detail my whole body and movements ".
35 years
"I dream of going with my husband to a cocktail very elegant and back home make love in the back of the vehicle and be seen by the driver."
Source
33 years
"Although I consider myself a very jealous woman. One of the most recurrent fantasies that goes through lies is to see my husband having sex with another woman, while I look behind the dressing room. This possibility I think it would be a mixture of anger and morbid that excites me completely ".
Source
44 years
"My mind plays a lot to have the roles of teacher, police and nurse in which I have relationships with my patient, thief and student."
Source
36 years
"This is one of the fantasies that dances through my head is to have an orgy started by me. That my husband and I are invited to a party on the beach, where I am sentenced through penances to show my private parts and flirt with the private parts of other men, as a result of my bad luck, until other women join and Let's have group sex. "
Source
38 years
"My fantasy is to have sex with a stranger, to disappear after the sexual encounter. I imagine a famous person walking through a park and inviting me a coffee, then an appointment that ends the next day. "
Source
27 years
"It gives me great pleasure to be told dirty words, perverted and morbid, and that I qualify as a prostitute in bed, my fantasy is to go to a summer meeting and in the end people say I'm a bitch in bed" .
Source
34 years
"My fantasy is to be whipped by my partner, and I submit for hours as their sex slave, with dirty words and sexual orders that I will please without complaints, or objections to have orgasms."
Source
25 years
"My fantasy is a fetish that excites me that my partner snorts, licks and caresses the toes of my feet, while I'm fucked."
37 years
"I have the fantasy of one day putting my heels on a man's genitals and making love to me."
23 years
"My fantasy is that my partner covers me with nutella and ice cream in the light of the moon and the heat of the bonfire or candles, while devouring every part of my body with his tongue, while he touches and eats this chocolate dish".
Source
28 years
"My fantasy is to wait for my husband every day with different types of erotic lingerie and model him sensually until he makes love to me."
Source
36 years
"One of my fantasies is to be the trophy of a bet of my husband in a game of golf, and that once I have lost, I have no choice but to fulfill my husband's commitment to clear his word and commitment, and that I have to deliver myself in a vehicle that would take me to a hotel where I would make love with a stranger, only for that night, and that after that night my husband take the meeting in a natural way, where there is no remorse or reproach on the part from both".
Source
35 years
"My fantasy is that my husband pulls me out by the bows of a party, I shake and hold my hair tightly saying dirty words, and make me wild while giving me strong spanking."
26 years
"My fantasy is to serve snacks and drinks to my husband and his friends in their underwear while they watch soccer games."
Source
44 years
"My fantasy is to have the power to do what I want in bed, without being judged by my partner."
41 years
"My fantasy is to be seduced by the romantic gentleman who flatters her and takes her to a very romantic place."
33 years
"Being unfaithful to my partner with my ex without there being any commitment to be formally tied back to them, and that is given by a chance encounter unexpectedly, and that between caresses and friction of our genitals, we end up in bed reliving some moments of passion. "
29 years
"I've always wanted a police officer to stop me, put me in handcuffs and do it on the hood of his car. In real life I tend to be a very dominant person, so being in a more vulnerable position I like a lot. "
39 years
"I've always had the fantasy of being kidnapped with my husband, and to save our lives I have to give in to the demands of the kidnappers, being penetrated by 2 of the subjects, while my husband looks tied to a chair, and after the release my husband alive grateful for my sacrifice. "
31 years
"I want to have sex with a stranger while I'm being recorded by my partner."
Source
35 years
"Kissing passionately with a girl in a pool at night. Undress, touch, caress, have orgasms together, dry up and end up serving our husbands in their barbecue. "
Source
29 years
"I do not think it will come true, but I've always wanted to have sex with a large group of men who line up to fuck me. About nine or 10 men and feel totally satisfied. "
37 years
"I am in a monogamous relationship with my husband, I have children, I am in love, but secretly I would like to do it with a girl".
34 years
"I have the fantasy of using a vibrator and that my partner tells me what to do with him without ever touching me."
22 years
"My fantasy is to spend a whole day with my best friend, who is heterosexual, naked. The idea would be to experiment sexually with one another without leaving anything untouched. "
20 years
"Do not judge me, but I've always wanted to do it with Di Carpio. Preferably, on a balcony. "
28 years
"One of my fantasies of the past few months is having a trio with my last two ex. I give myself to them equally without making comparisons after I spent a lot of time comparing them. "
38 years
"Everything I perceive as prohibited by the education I have received, in my imagination is what excites me the most. How to flirt, seduce and end up having oral sex with a married man that I've seen only a couple of times. "
34 years
"I'm not very fanciful fantasies, but I confess that from time to time it excites me to think about going to look for my husband when he is in the gym showers and see him naked, in the meantime macizorro man. Uff ... "
43 years
"Having sex with someone more inexperienced, a young university student, to teach him and let him do everything".
29 years
"Go shopping with my partner and end up in the changing room doing a quickie".
30 years
"I would like, at some point, to know what happens and what it feels like when you walk into the gym's changing room shower with another woman."
35 years
"Although it may sound typical, the fact that I'm dressed as a dominatrix, with a whip and a leather corset, is something that makes me a thousand." "I once had a mess with a guy younger than me. In his bedroom he had some handcuffs and a whip. We never used them, but to imagine that he made love to me after having tied me to the headboard of the bed and hitting the ground with the whip excited me a lot. "
30 years
"Make a trio with my boyfriend and another woman".
Source
32 years
"Insinuate a boy in front of my boyfriend, while we're having a drink on a terrace, for example. And when I go to the bathroom, he realizes, he follows me and we have sex in the bathroom, while other women wait until we finish. "
38 years
"I would love to have an occasional and very sexy encounter with one of the well-dressed passengers, in suit and jacket, who are waiting for my same flight in the departure lounge."
Source
CONCLUSION
A team of researchers from the University of Montreal wanted to find out what is the most repeated sexual fantasy in the female world. The conclusions of the study were published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. For the investigation they counted on the participation of 1500 people, who had to fill in a questionnaire about their predilections in sexual themes.
The comparison of the data showed that between 50 and 60% of the respondents agreed that their favorite sexual fantasy would be trios, make them recreate the story of the famous trilogy of erotic literature "50 Shades of Gray", this is , a scenario in which they were in a way pushed to submit to a sexual partner: to become a submissive like Anastasia Steele with Mr. Gray.
"People who have fantasies of submission also often show a desire for domination," said Christian Joyal, leader of the study, "These two themes are not exclusive, but rather the opposite." Fantasies about sadomasochism are very common. Between men and women, and historically they have been referred to as "deviant" sexual behaviors.
I hope that some of his fantasies are related to some of the ones exposed here where some very strange ones were overlooked, whose levels are questioned with psychological pathologies.
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