We human beings are a funny lot sometimes.
As a rule, we claim to hate liars and try to avoid people who don't tell the truth. Paradoxically, many people also don't want to hear the truth... perhaps because the truth frequently represents something we'd rather not deal with, especially if the topic at hand is "personal" or relates to a closely held belief we've grown attached to.
True blue...?
In extreme cases, when someone is telling us an actual truth we don't like, we may even go as far as to call them "liars" for what they are saying.
What IS Truth, Anyway...?
I'll be the first to admit that truth is often subjective and situational. The confusion often grows because a lot of folks consider "Facts" and "Truth" to be the same thing. They are not.
Of course, there are people in the world who believe truth is always "absolute," but I don't happen to be one of those. Instead, I lean towards agreeing with French 19th century writer Gustave Flaubert (author of "Madame Bovary," among other things) who asserted "There IS no truth, only PERCEPTION."
Much of the time what we call "truth" is more a statement about our own perceptions and opinions about something, rather than something absolute.
It Bears Saying Again...
I've touched on this before, but a lot of things are quite subjective.
Grass in the sun
Take a simple example like rain. Is rain "good" or "bad?" Well, if you're going to have an outdoor wedding reception and the rain starts pouring down, you'd probably call it "bad." And if it rains so much your house washes away, you'd probably call it REALLY bad. On the other hand, if there's a drought and everything in your garden is parched, brown and dying, then rain is probably "good."
What is the "truth" about rain, though? It's just water falling from the sky... everything else is a perception we assign to it.
Your Cage Has Been Rattled!
When people don't want to be told the truth, the problem is usually that some closely held belief of theirs is being challenged... and if they listen to-- and consider-- the "truth" they are being told, not only will they have to change some kind of fundamental belief (often about themselves), they may also have to say the words that seem the most difficult for people to say: "I was mistaken. I was wrong."
Lighthouse and summer sun
It's understandable, of course-- the "truth" often can be painful, because we've invested ourselves in something other than the truth.
If a good friend musters the courage (for example) to answer your lament "But I'm a NICE person, why do all my relationships end so quickly?" with "Well... actually, you're kind of clingy, self-absorbed and manipulative," it tends to sting.
Most of the time, we don't want to hear such truths... even if knowing such a thing will help us alter our behavior to avoid painful situations in the future.
Think of the people on shows like "American Idol" who believe they are the greatest singers ever, have had that false image reinforced by family and friends... and yet can't sing their way out of a paper bag.
Personally, I prefer to be told the truth.
It may not be what I want to hear, but it's often something I need to hear. That said, I also keep in mind that most "truth" is actually "opinion," but I still keep an open mind.
Opinions: When "Truth" Isn't Actually the Truth
Discussions about truth often bring about heated debate... usually between "absolutists" and "relativists."
Salvia in bloom
It seems to me that-- in the heat of battle-- many people don't pause and consider the fact that they are substituting in "opinion" for "truth."
A fierce discussion (and this is just a metaphorical example!) may rage over whether it's "hot" or "cold" today... complete with people getting hurt feelings and stomping off in a huff. What's forgotten is that the only truth in the discussion is "it is 75 degrees (24C) today," while declarations of "hot" or "cold" are merely personal overlays we attach... not related to the truth.
Of course, that can become really tricky when people start discussing spirituality and politics, where opinions often are cast as absolute facts!
Last but not least, sometimes we encounter "situational truth," which can be somewhat akin to navigating a minefield. What's that, you wonder?
Consider the question: "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?"
I also try to remember another old saying: "The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off!"
And that's the truth...
What do YOU think? What is your approach to the truth? When you ask someone to "tell you the truth" about something, do you actually want the truth? If someone tells you a truth you don't really like, are you open to their suggestion, or do you get defensive and try to "attack" them back? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- start the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170623 16:38PDT
I love your posts, you are a role model for anyone here on Steemit and I try to read everything you post because it helps me become a better writer and learn about life in general. You are a great "mentor" even if you don't know it. Keep keeping on.
By the way, I posted about how to help people wake up to the truth today if it interests you.. The article is called "It's Hard Being Conscious." Sometimes we get frustrated with those around us when they avoid the truth just for comfort, even though they are feeding the very thing they want to avoid! Here's the link!
@macolonna, thanks for your kind words-- high praise, thank you. I'm basically just "me," muddling through this thing called life... and having a love affair with the written word.
I will go check out your stuff, for sure. Anything that can help life general awareness in the world is a good thing!
Oh! my dear @denmarkguy, now you have touched on a subject in which I am a tireless and ruthless cranky monk.
In my case, I will always prefer everyone tell me their truth, any truth, whatevah that be their truth. It will never offend me or put me on the defensive in the most minimal way. Conversely, of it is that I feed and nourish my lofty consciousness and elder ironic/sarcastic existence. But all of them, any interlocutor who crosses my path, as long as each one of them is also willing to bear and listen to my own truths.
Sowing consciousness, cultivate attentiveness/discernment and harvesting cognizance/mindfulness has been largely a full time hobby of mine from eons ago. And since you have already masterfully exposed throughout your article all the variants of this interesting phenomenon of truths. I will establish my standpoint on the subject, solely with a thousand more words. }:)
Truth is a marvelous thing as long as all parties present are open to it. And open to the possibility that truth can be situational and individual, rather than some kind of absolute law.
The cartoon is such a marvelous statement about the state of the world!
YES! I totally agree. Truth is Perception based completely. There are NO absolutes. But also Truth will always be true not matter what someone "believes" about it. I think we ingrain ourselves to believe by allowing thought patterns to take hold in our mind. Once we have the thought enough times we start to believe it as a truth. It is a form of self brainwashing, happens a LOT in religious groups and any form of indoctrination like...military, school, religion etc...
So this creates a schism between people. Because they thought enough times about something they now "think" it is true. Here is the hum dinggger!
Truth is true for the one who believes it. As one's consciousness rises or lowers this truth will change. It HAS TOO!!! That is a law of the universe. One cannot grow by being stuck in beliefs tied to a consciousness that does not exist anymore. Our thoughts create who we are. By changing core thought patterns into something of a different consciousness we change our truth.
Allowing and giving oneself permission to do this without emotional discharge at the cause is of great importance and a necessary step to our evolution as humans. Thanks for the post!
It sort of reminds me of the philosophy of doing our best: "I did my best, with what I knew at the time. When I know better, I'll DO better."
Growth is a constant process of learning and being open to the possibilities. And sometimes that requires restating our assumptions. So much strife and argument seems to be the result of an unwillingness to restate our assumptions.
A wonderful post, as all your posts are, I resteemed)
Thanks Kristina, appreciate the kind words and support.
A very fine article on a very delicate subject, and as someone who generally prefers to ignore if I feel my opinion will offend, I try to always be truthful. But the truth is funny, subjective; your own truth can be conscious or buried in unconscious thought. Like quality, at times it is undefinable, something felt rather then truly tangible. Where as fact and fiction need defined lines, truth is, as you mentioned, muddied by perception. As a writer, people around me when questioned will generally offer praise, but I know when it isn't deserved. The best advice was from a friend who after looking at some of my books handed them back and said, 'These aren't very good, you can do better, try harder.' Anyone who trusts me enough to tell me something honest that may hurt me, wins a lot of respect in my book.
Thank you! The truth can be a very fluid thing... but that makes many people very uncomfortable; hence the tendency to see "truth" as being the same as "facts." Facts are pretty firm ("it is 74 degrees here") while the truth is far more open ("It is hot")... the observer becomes the arbiter of truth, in some sense.
Love the provocation in your post. Especially around the concept of what is truth anyway if we are all percieving the inputs around us in our own way. Maybe our ego and self grasping ( the concept of 'I' or 'me' ) make it difficult to deal with the 'truth' when its handed to us.
Following, looking forward to reading more from you.
Thanks for the comment, and welcome to Steemit!
The ego can definitely be a "slippery beast" as it insists on protecting itself by making us believe we have "attachments" we must defend.
"there is no truth, only perception" - definitely TRUE haha, upvoted!
Thank you!
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