Let me drop some gold here to show my appreciation for this post:
introverts are boss at day game and at one-on-one, or small groups from three to five people. Planning your social life around this is the right way to go.
Get a handle on the different cognitive functions you prefer ( mbti ) for instance I am am ENTP. This means I have introverted thinking and introverted sensing to support my extraverted Intuition and extraverted feeling. Knowing. Specifically get a grip on your supporting function, in my case it is Introverted thinking and my path to growth is becoming very specific with my logic since I build my own school of thought as I go along , which is a horrible roller coaster when I have shit ideas in that system of thought.
determine whether you have an internal frame of reference or an external frame of reference. The difference in these two is where you gain your validation about your performance, either is fine. If external you have to choose your advisors very carefully, by getting the way they think and how they align with yourself interest/values and beliefs. If internal make peace with the fact that you are a lone wolf, and focus on developing the standards you hold yourself to into a mature and compelling set of criterion and do not forget to hold other people to that standard as well.
Find a way to love yourself, for instance take time out everyday to get lost in some music by putting on some really good headphones, or whatever else takes you into your internal world, while making sure that the state it illicits is one where you feel a warmth in your stomach and your chest, preferably putting a stupid grin on your face
Keep looking for things in this vein as well, being an introvert means that the greatest value you have to bring to the world is orientated towards your internal world, you have to draw your energy and your motivation from your internal space. Keep that place clean and be kind to yourself. There is one thing women cannot resist and that it a humble man who knows his limits.
This is a show of strength, not a reinforcement of what is weak within you. I am argumentative, and my silver tongue has gotten me into as much trouble as it has gotten me out of. I know my nature.
This is very important, because confidence boils down to trust, and self confidence has to do with the things that you can trust in yourself. There is no better foundation than your integrity, and this brings us full circle back to one of my favourite topics: Stoicism
If there is one formula I can give you it would be taking up the mantle of stoicism. And if you do remember the Zen idea of not stinking of Zen. Do not become consumed by your ideas until they possess you.
Own your ideas, and weild them with skill. Competency breads integrity and integrity breeds trust which builds self confidence.
Wow, that's great pieces of wisdom there, @damion-m. Thanks for the share.
I think your approach of understanding oneself and playing by your own strengths is the right way to go, especially for someone who may have an external frame of reference. Sure, it's good to have feedback, but truth is, we still have to make the decision at the end, and girls appreciate a man that can carry our his decisions on his own. (then again, this could be assumption too)
No, Bro. You are absolutely on the money. It is not only women that appreciate a good follow through rate on decisions. This is a leadership trait when it is taken to it's natural ends and it becomes one of the most valuable pieces of the equation once you align all the other parts of this effort together.
My reasoning for suggesting that one should vet the feedback from others is that you only surround yourself with a high quality group of advisors. This applies to everybody, but especially to a person with an external frame of reference since such a person is susceptible to harsh criticism.
While having an internal frame of reference may allow me to be nearly immune to feedback since I am my own standard I have the problem on not getting enough feedback to calibrate to what is going on around me. From what I can remember about what I was taught about frames of reference is that changing them is way too much effort, and what these frames influence is your personal style. It is better to accept it as it is and mitigate some of the obvious downsides through some practices
ps. It has been awhile since I have dived into this, and it was fun. You can hit me up on the discord server of VOTU if you want to discuss it some more. At one stage I buried myself so deep into this that I could probably speak about it non-stop for two days
Looks like you had been perfecting the craft! Yes, I will look you up at Discord. :)