Today's lesson is stolen straight from Carl Jung, who said: "There is no coming to consciousness without pain."
Thoughts: This is a lesson most of us want to deny. But the fact remains, without suffering we would be fully unaware of ourselves and what we're made of.
A while back, I suffered a traumatic incident. I was attacked and beaten up by a group of people. I didn't suffer any long term physical injuries, but the mental anguish caused by the trauma was undeniable. I suffered from terrible anxiety for several months after the incident. I thought angrily about the people that did this to me, and plotted extensively about revenge. I would get so anxious when going out with friends that I would either stay home or get too intoxicated to even enjoy myself.
Eventually, I began to reflect on what I was feeling. Was this anger and fear benefitting me? I was taking the darkness of the event and internalizing it and it was consuming me. Instead of fear, I decided that I had to change. I started learning a martial art. I started working out regularly. I started eating healthier, more nutritious food. I started communicating my needs to others and refusing to take on more than I felt capable of. I took responsibility for my life and for the health of my body.
You see...hardship forces you to make a choice. Are you going to sit around continuing to be a victim, allowing someone who hurt you to continue to control your life, or are you going to take responsibility for your life and make a change?
The former choice leads down a path of growth, self-awareness and self-discipline. The latter often leads to increased isolation, failing relationships and substance abuse. The choice is an obvious one, and can lead you to places you never dreamed you would be.
It is unavoidable that you will experience pain, but what's essential is how you decide to react to that pain and live your life in the aftermath.
I'm so sorry you were beaten up like that!
It's so true though that we have to get up and get proactive around what we need to do in order to not have it reverberate like a gong for decades. It is such hard work though, especially when the traumas experienced are from childhood, and are inarticulatable.
Though I guess really any trauma is inarticulatable, in one way? It is hard to put words to the experience when your body has fight and flight or froze itself right out of the picture. We are such complicated beings.
I look forward to reading more posts of yours :)