First off , great writing!
Love the personal touch and the humanity in it.
Few years back i also experienced something similar if not even more extreme. I would wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks . At one point i way afraid to go to sleep knowing what would expect me during the night.
But i have come long way since and came better and stronger on the other side.
Long story short everything changed one night at 4 o'clock when my heart was beating like crazy when i realised i have the power of decision and i decided that i am no longer afraid! My hear went back to normal and since then i never have experienced them. And now i let fear to guide me, if i am afraid to speak in front of a crowd i do just that, i do not let fear run my life but i let it to guide me instead. Now i use fear as a comfort zone expander compass.
I learned so much from that experience that now one of my trainings that i hold is about fear :)

I think that fear is trying to tell you something , and that something is not something to be fearful of but something beautiful and unique just like you.
I learned that fear is not something to fight or be afraid of but something to embrace and love. Once you embrace your fear it melts away and what is left is a better version of you.