Hello @reinhard-schmid 😃

It fully depends on how you "understand" that statement with the shoes

Your are so right! And, I confess, it has been fascinating for me to read the different perspectives that have kindly been shared here. The reason why you might have 'felt' the cynicism in it is because that is a notion proposed by a school of people who actually make a case against empathy. However, this applies to a more broader social context, rather that from individual to individual. And that is one of the reasons why I thought it would be interesting to hear people's insight into that, at a more personal level :)

Now to your questions:

What I would like to know is, how empathy differs from sympathy...

Your question made me smile because about 2 weeks ago I had a similar conversation with a German acquaintance. The topic was more directed to language expressions and nuances than psychology. Either way, there is a subtle psychological difference between sympathy and empathy, which lies in the extent to which we 'see' the other person's suffering from their point of view.

While the former has to do with the acknowledgment of the other's suffering. The latter goes beyond that, it is also understudying the problem from the other's perspective. I don't know if, at a neuropsychological, this means a lighter and stronger activation of the anterior cingulate, or, indeed it activation in tandem with other regions.

why one generally uses both with, what I would call negative emotions.

You are also correct about this one! This is definitely the case amongst psychologies. The reason for this, though, it is because this topic (empathy), normally emerges in the context of prosocial behaviour, which is highly associated with sad events, catastrophes and so forth :)

Thank you so very much for stopping by and sharing your reflections as well as the queries they brought about.

I trust you and your wife are both fine!
Warm Regards :)