One of the deepest needs in life is the need to feel respected by others.
In fact, Proverbs 22:1
But being respected doesn’t come automatically—you have to earn it.
One way you earn it is by how you handle conflict.
Why?
Because any time you’re involved in a disagreement, people will watch to see how you’re going to react.
Nehemiah is a great example of someone who earned the respect of others by the way he handled conflict.
Here’s how Nehemiah did it and how you can do it too:
Nehemiah paused to think before he spoke.
James 1:19-20
Nehemiah resolved conflict privately.
Nehemiah 5:7
This is also the way Jesus commanded his followers to handle conflict in churches.
He says in Matthew 18:15
Going public is the last resort. If you want to be respected, do it God’s way.
Nehemiah appealed to the best in people.
He told the insensitive leaders.
Nehemiah 5:9-11
And they did what Nehemiah said, because they respected him.
If you want to be respected, bring out the best in others.
Don’t appeal to their worst instincts, fears, or prejudices.
Proverbs 11:27
Respect and influence go hand in hand.
In times of conflict, follow Nehemiah’s example.
Talk It Over
Think about your week ahead. What opportunities will you have to practice being “quick to listen and slow to speak”?
Think about a time you were thankful someone approached you privately about a matter.
Did your level of respect for that person increase?
Why or why not?
When has someone brought out the best in you?
What opportunity do you have now to bring out the best in someone else?