Look at it this way: the person is still experiencing (or clinging?) to their teen years (yes...even if he's a 50 year old!).
You remember your teen years right? Does it feel so far away now? You're lucky that you're one of those people who think forward instead of backwards in their life. I still do it too, look back and think about how I could have handled a situation differently. Thankfully I do that less and less now.
1.) Make an effort to listen even if they are throwing a tantrum
I struggle to do this as I need to take a break whenever discussions get heated. My solution to this is just stay as long as I need and remember that this is to help the other person clear their head and keep reminding myself that I too, need to take a break when emotions run high. It’s just this person takes a break in a different way.
2.) Clarify the times you’ll be available
One key attribute of teens is thinking that everything revolves around them (lacking perspective and empathy towards other people’s lives). If the person you’re dealing with doesn’t respect the schedule you set for yourself, you can mention that you’ll be available in 4 hours. You can add that if they like, you can let them know if you finish earlier. If that is going to be too much of a leap, mix the times you cave in and the times you’re taking a stand.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to take a stand more often than caving to whatever requests this person makes of you.
Then again this person might be a toxic person, and it might not be wise to be around them. If that is the case, start steps to fully extricate yourself from their sphere. You might decline a breakfast catch-up or a shopping trip then still accompany them to the cinema or attend a concert.
Check out 'Boundaries With Teens' for more ideas and detailed guidance.
Photo by Erik Lee Snyder
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