WOW thank you for this long comment! So beautifully written as well. Yes the connection isn't always present in porn, but at times you can see it. The eye contact is what always gets me in porn videos, because its as if I am sensing that deep, long connection they are going through at those moments. While at the same time, there are moments where no eye connection is made, its all only body connection and really there can be an off balance in the body connection that is happening.
Thats awesome you have never felt addicted. I know I can go days without porn, but at the same time, those same days I end up watching it. So Im not sure if its an addiction. Maybe Im just telling myself that. And YES I am telling myself that obviously. What if I didn't tell myself it was an addiction would I even be mad I was doing it? Its not that I'm mad, because I love touching myself. I loooove masturbation. Thats not what I think is the issue, its the porn that I watch where I want to bring that into the bedroom realizing that Yea I can take it there with men and it will be hot, but I notice the connection isn't as strong when its in those fast drawn out movements.
Ive never enjoyed toys for the simple fact that its not natural haha, I only want natural things, like my fingers or a dick near my pussy. Honestly condoms I don't even think are safe. Media just projects them to be. Skin to Skin touch is one of the highest levels of communication and sexual attraction down there possible to me, and when you put something unnatural inside of you like that, it disrupts the connection.
I would love to read your books! Where can I find?!
You just have to find someone that is sexually adventurous as you are and that want to have passionate or wild sex but with a connection as well.
Regarding Condoms. You can get polyurethane which will not have the same issues as latex. I doubt they will cause any problems for any. It's better than putting yourself at risk for Pregnancy than an STD. If you use birthcontrol and know the health status of your partner and see the test or know they are telling the truth then there is no need for them.
My books are not sold anymore but I might revise and republish or my maybe do a post with the older versions after I get a larger audience built up. I have not decided yet what I'm going to do because I'm so busy and focused with my art.
But I'd suggest you not label yourself as an addict. Are you addicted to eating or brushing your teeth? If it's not doing you any harm and you still want a connection and not just porn and don't see it as a replacement for or obstacle to a relationship I don't think it's harmful, honestly. It's only harmful if it's actually harming you in some way. You have to be the judge of that.
OMG yes that first line, this is very true, someone who is experimental and wants to dive down a lot of different routes.
I also think birth control is messing up a lot of women reproductive systems. I don't think it helps the woman body at all so I stopped taking that like 6 years ago. I do find condoms safer - while at the same time, skin to skin touch has always been my go to.
I would love to read your books whenever you post them to the site! Keep me updated :)
I mentioned you sort of in my next post - https://steemit.com/porn/@awakealiveaware/what-it-feels-like-having-a-porn-addiction-as-a-woman-pt-2 :)