Pat here, your favorite parasite. Inspired by the UK party conference season, I thought I would explore the differences and similarities between politicians and parasites such as myself.
Politicians...
Your main man Boris Johnson (Source).
1. Need voters to thrive. For us parasites, that means having a living host. In another word? Biotrophy. Some of us can only live of viable hosts. Others are happy to get them to keel over (see my next point). Politicians on the other hand, like to portray themselves as living beings (see image of Boris)
2. Are happy to screw over the electorate once elected.
In pathogen speak, we call this hemi-biotrophy. We first get cozy with our host to gain a foothold, when we do....kill it. We do this to feed ourselves first before reproducing like hell. Hemi-biotrophy, it's a lifestyle some of us consider great fun.
3. Are adaptable. Those politicians are flexible beings. Happy to turn on an issue as fast as a leaf in the wind. We pathogen like to be adaptable too. However, it takes lots of offspring and failed tries to be successful on a host (let's call them guests here). But in some weird way, we are all subject to evolution, driven by our host (or electorate). I would argue though that for parasites, the selection is way harsher. You are all going too easy on your elected officials.
4. Coalesce amongst ideas and ideals. We pathogens aggregate on our guests. No matter the company they are having. If you see me, rest assured, a guest will not be far away. Can you imagine a world in which politicians aggregate around the electorate? Take a cue, guys!
5. Outbreeders (those that mate with diverged counterparts) tend to do well in a fast-changing environment. Adaptation is certainly critical in the world of parasitism. Anything to gain an advantage! Politicians, however, form clubs around unique (ahem, I mean extreme) ideas, limiting fresh thinking and new insight. Do they adapt? Only their message at best, but never their ways!
Love, Patty
Thoughts and your upvotes (parasites need to live off something you know!) are most welcome!
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