Under the Rim. An epic galactic romp.
Verses 21-30
But not knack enough as the cruiser went drunkenly
End over end in the chasm
“Engage hyperspin!” yelled the irate Capt'in
As his ship ploughed into the orgasm
Riotous colours played madly on eyesight
Instant death surged up through ceiling and walls
The room went all hazy and Callester went crazy
As her Cap'n damn near lost his balls
But the hyperspin motors reacted in time
The Undaunted was saved in the nick
The crew thanked their gods: “the ungrateful sods!”
Thought the Cap'n who'd pulled off the trick
Now they were lost in a strange universe
Of known heavens there was not a sign
But the Cap'n weren't tearful, nay even cheerful
Was he as he clutched his fraulein
“Come dear, let us finish our ended business
It's now all up to the computer ...”
“Scanning the charts for familiar parts?”
She asked, and he didn't refute 'er
He scanned as well but not over the charts
It wasn't his job on shipboard
He found a known part then looked up with a start
As she belted his face with a clipboard
“Not yet, Captain dear,” she sighed huskily
“Oh you bitch – see me face – you have cut me!”
But he mastered his ardour: his will was yet harder
Although he felt hotter than hyperspice chutney
He then set her down and went back to his chair
To await the computer's decision
And soon in a hush it poured out in a gush
And they knew where they were with precision
“Aha” said the Cap'n, “I know where we are
More or less, give or take a mere parsec"
And he told to his crew of a tale all true
And it wasn't the least bit like Star Trek
“When I was a lad and the spaceways were full
Of brave merchantmen plying their merchandise
I was part of a cargo which bust an embargo
'Twas hid from the custom men's searchin' eyes
Verses 31-40
“We alit on a bit of a block of a rock
And discharged the contents of the hold
We noticed a city – 'twas really quite pretty
Though the spires were all covered with mould
“This growth was imported from nearby star-systems
To fill up a dietary gap
But it got out of hand and spread over the land
Until there was no life but this crap
“It lived you see all of it one massive being
Slow throbbing of life it contained
It ingested all traces of indigenous races
Not a single inhabitant remained
“It spread out toward us, ground creeping beneath it
We all ran like hell to the ship
Then left in a hurry before this foul slurry
Could suck out our life in its grip
“Mould seared beneath as we lifted her off
We thought we'd escaped from the stuff
But a little got in through a cracked tail fin
Not a lot, but it sure was enough
“It hid itself safe in the depths of a hold
And began to get bigger ag'in
I noticed it from – sitting still on the john
And feeling it crawl up my shin
“I raced out the room slamming tightly the door
So that the foul growth could not harm us
I hung on a peg the slight trace on my leg
Where it gobbled my brand-new pyjamas
“Naked I was in the ship's corridor
Not a stitch of warm clothing about me
No-one did care that I threw down my prayer mat
And started to pray most devoutly
“My prayers were answered when down through a chute
Came a sack of assorted apparel
Wow! It must be said it hit me on the head
Though 'twas lucky it weren't in a barrel
“I sorted some clothing and dressed myself fast
And finally reached the crew's quarters
And quickly did tell it so we could repel it
Before the green ocean could thwart us
Image: Pixabay
