Thank you, I appreciate criticism :D it takes time and I try to learn from it. I had another writer give me some tips, I didn't enjoy them much but took them anyway, One being the full stops at the end of complete sentences although I see I used the full stops incorrectly a few times here... I will edit :D
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The best way to learn is from reading good poets. All rules can be set aside for creating the imagery or emotions or the flow we want, but even that must follow some kind of rule, even if it is a rule we make up.