DANCING BENEATH THE MOON: A POEM

in #poetry6 years ago

ballet-1376250_1280.jpg
pixabay:Romanen


Dust rise
As feet rub sole
With the earth's skin
And the wind sways
The body to music.

The drumbeat calls
Beaded waists to wriggle
Beneath the eyes
Of throbbing men
Flexing bunched muscles
Like old trees, warped
With the wear and tear
Of time's innumerable sojourns
Between bark and trunk,
Foliage and budding fruit.

The moon fills the drama
With soft light
And each step of each maiden
Is forever captured in monochrome.
Even the fevered cries
Of bedeviled bachelors
Seeking mates
Do not steal the spectacle.

A solo flute flits
Between each trembling eye,
Each shuffling feet
And its haunting melody
Soars among the trees
And moves old shrivelled breasts
To remember suckle and milk,
To mourn fading time.

Sweat beaded faces shine
With hungry light
And white smiles flicker
With each inhale and exhale
Then suddenly the music stops.

The silence stretches
As the men laying wreaths,
Become mounds to hold
The maidens making song,
Become backs to bear their burden
Until tomorrow comes
And the barren earth become fertile
As laughing children swim
The bubbling stream.


My first verse of 2019. what do you think?

©warpedpoetic, 2019.

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I think first of all you know what it means to work on a poem. I like the theme/atmosphere of a dance. You used many "elements" [the moon, the dancing, wind/earth, ..] and maybe they need to have a stronger relation between them. I like that you "return" many times to the "dance" theme [steps, notes, sounds, etc] so you make a strong bond with that, you create a pattern. Good luck

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