Sometimes...
Sometimes I’m told how great I am and often feel it too, ‘You are a happy man from which love shines brightly through’, it feels so good to be like this but isn’t always true, for here and now and through these words I must confess to you,
Sometimes I feel so very lost deep amongst the noise, I cannot find my smiley face when I have lost my poise, sometimes I do weird things and think I may be crazy, sometimes I eat all bad foods just like chips n gravy,
Sometimes I feel proud and right walking a different road, and deep within this judge-mental space comes a heavy load, sometimes I’ll say one ought not care about what some may speak, then off I go put on a show and thus become quite meek,
Sometimes I think erotic things when I’m with a lady, sometimes I feel so very weak I’ll cry just like a baby, sometimes I think and think and think, and then forget to blink, my brain gets sore, I love no more, and then begin to sink,
All these things I could not accept so I would try to run, to distract myself from myself before I came undone, on this trip I’ve seen these things as things I did regret, but all these things are feelings too of which love will accept,
So here I am looking at myself on another level, with my darker side and fears some who call the devil, I strip me down and call me out, I do that which I may, these things I find from my inside are really quite okay,
Note to self, from myself, to love your deepest flaws, forgive yourself and be yourself, free from any clause.
(Poem written by Nsissim Nkouma in 2016)