my fruit of life

in #poetry6 years ago

my fruit of life

when a teen heart breaks, it takes
nothing into account; the lakes
can’t compare to the depths of the blue
residing inside of this teen’s bird-eye view.

i am confused; abused by my past.
kill me if all of this ends too fast.
i often ask if there’s a reason
for her arrival at this time of season,
but then it seems to me that in my
life there is only time for me to cry.
i am exhausted, scared, and i feel
like what i think she is feeling ain’t real.
glimpses of admiration leak through
then disappear out of the blue,
and it’s this passing of foreign thoughts
through my peripheral which rots
all of my healthy pores; it adores
to flood my mind’s evergrowing floors
and all the ceilings with the same pain
that is encouraging my ill train
of thought to crash and say no word.
i cannot die alone and unheard,
but if she chooses to back away,
i will forever love yesterday
for all its moments of admiration.
i have been drowning in this temptation
to ask her out for countless days,
for i adore her and want to chase
her into the sunset in our paradise.
cheer up, you fool; you’re being wise!
similarly to what happened before,
i am awaiting her text on my floor,
swimming in blues yet loving the thrill.
can teenage infatuation kill?
maybe it’s able to do such things,
but the maturity which she brings
cancels all that out in no time.
is there an ending to this in which i’m
yours and you’re mine?
if not, that is fine.
no, it is not; i think i’ll start to weep.
what is a blur? it’s something i keep
on my blue mind and never forget.
is there a vacancy; can i let
you and your body, your heart and your smile
for an eternity, or at least for a while
to get to know you and to spend precious days
walking and talking in love on the face
of this vast earth, the one which belittles
me everytime my heart’s love ripples?

i was told by my mother to not overthink,
but without you, lately, i’m beginning to shrink,
and you are the only cure; what an addict!
everythink he always writes is dramatic!

i know i’m lost and certainly trapped,
but overtime, i have learned to adapt
to the environment i am in.
no matter what i do, i can’t win.
do not be worried by a lack of response.
i once found beauty in others’ lawns,
but as mine turned grey and then died,
never again have my eyes tried
to look for happiness in not me.
i think she truly deserves to be free.
everything’s different now; take a look!
maybe i will end up writing that book.

there is no need for an apology, dear.
suddenly, i am numb and in fear
of missing out on a once in a life-
time opportunity of making you my wife.
i know that you told me that you would join
me for a drink, but tossing a coin
is what i’m doing when i open your messages;
i am unable to tell what the message is,
perhaps for i’m foolish and read things wrong,
or maybe because you’ve felt love all along
and are unsure of how to express.
i am enjoying each moment, nonetheless.
tomorrow’s the day it was meant to happen,
so maybe if i stay home and continue napping,
i might just dream about you; that’s
enough
to get me through a night that is rough.

©LukaKorba

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With love,
Luka.

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the revelation of this immensity was like falling in love

this immensity is a grey cloud of overthinking, it’s good to see that you have found its silver lining