And Streets
That don't end,
But disappear
And begin again.
In a candlelit bar
out of the gloom
The piano
Tinkles
A Jazz noir tune.
I sit and watch
A woman
Fashionably attired
Wait while
A doorman
Summons a car
She departs
Into splashing streets
Rain dancing
To the wipers' beat
And I, dry behind
The jewelled pane,
Watch
As she slowly
Drives away.
In my mind
I follow
Through wet streets
To her condo
She exits
Beneath a portico
And an elevator
Whisks her
To her tower...
Sheltered
As a hothouse flower.
What does she know
Of rain or pain
Or dull grey days—
Other than her view
Of the lake?
The fire bubbles
In the grate
As she pours
A Manhattan,
Scrying the riddle
Of rain trail patterns
What, if anything,
Goes
Through her brain?
Barriers dissolve
And I’m given
A glimpse...
A vision
Into privileged
Position
And I stare
Amazed
At a string
Of dull grey days…
And despair so great
It drives her away
Back out into the rain
Where she enters
An unending haze,
And slips beneath
Dull, grey waves.
Very interesting and readable poem. I clicked on this post because I love grey, rainy days. I also love fine poetry, and this is great.
Looking forward to reading more. Thanks.
thank you, @majes.tytyty for your encouragement
@johnjgeddes, ‘sheltered/ as a hothouse flower’ is good. This is the power of poetry, to imagine another —but it is also a double-edged sword ... since it’s a reminder of how we presume/judge without knowing.
Who’s to say that, despite her appearance, your well groomed protagonist is not, in fact, a connoisseur of ‘rain and pain’?
As Transtromer suggests in these lines from “The Scattered Congregation”:
“We got ready and showed our home.
The visitors thought: you live well.
The slum must be inside you.”
thanks for your response, Yahia. I was actually implying the above - perhaps, I was too subtle in portraying the narrator's attempt to get inside the woman's head but the turning point occurs when he asks, 'What, if anything, goes through her brain' and then is given a vision of dull grey days culminating with her being driven to despair and walking out into the lake to drown. This frequently happens to depressed people in Toronto, and I may have assumed the allusion was clear. Sh'e not just a connoisseur of rain and pain, but also a victim.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
Aha, forgive me, my presumption... and thanks for taking the time/care to walk me through that. Art on, my friend!
I love how your stanzas are shaped like hourglasses. Was it intentional?
I intended to write in short lines, so the effect would be a narrow column of print but the visual form of an hourglass was unintentional, but I was trying to make the words come in waves. Sometimes poets are beneficiaries of happy accidents :)
Your writing is beautiful. You write how I feel, even if I can’t express it. I look forward to your writing.
thank you, @lowlylutfur - so kind
Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting that speaks.
Keep it up dear.
good line - thanks. @smileplease
beautiful ! thank you for sharing!!! <3
thanks<@iamsilvia
awsome share
I love this . It's really good.
Thanks for sharing
thanks, @lalitswami
I really are interesting your poetry.Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion...
What City was this taken in? Very beautiful
it's from my city - Toronto - The Gooderham Building, also known as the Flatiron Building, is a historic office building - it figures in many of my stories
Damn beautiful lines ! 👍
thanks
Beautiful poem, thanks for sharing!
thank you, @nikonmarshall
This post has received a 24.67 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @johnjgeddes.
Awsome thanks for sharing
thanks
beautifull
Nice picture even better touchy poem.
Love animals too? ;)
https://steemit.com/animal/@apine/dangerous-animal-appears-from-nowhere-and-bit-me
Wow Its Really Impress me...Thats A Beautifull Photography sir thank you @johnjgeddes
Very lovely poem, thanks for sharing!
nice pome
upvote back
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Nice picture
And your writing is also beautiful.....
thank you
😎😎😎
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STOPI fell in love with this poem.. it's very beautiful
thank you
Wow... I have not word to explain it... Amazing
Excellent imagery here and a really nice rhythm. Well done.
thanks, @xanderslee
nice post.....i up vote you please up vote me back and follow me
A woman ....and man...so cute poem!
Truly a very nice poem you wrote.thanks for sharing with us,steemians.
you're welcome!
Excellent poem friend, I congratulate you, you have to be born for that, I invite you to visit my blog, greetings
Wow that picture is bold and feel like I'm sinking!
Beautiful poem! I like the format. Thank you for sharing! Awesome!
yes, it does give that feeling :)
nice post and pic
Dont forget to upvote follow & resteem
@nurdinnakaturi
Nice🖒
Though seen a million times, I've never heard wet streets described this way before. Thanks for your unrelenting originality.
😄😇😄
Oooh I do like this...I drifted away for a moment.
thanks, Sarah - that's the effect I was aiming for with the rain and grey haze
The piano and 'jazz' gave that vibe too.
you're right. I remember one rainy Saturday afternoon spent in a piano bar while listening to Thirties Torch songs. I recall the pianist remarking, "just drifting, today.." We were :)
I only really started appreciating poetry this year, and I'm trying to develop mine, although I'm only good at rhyming poetry. This is really nice and imaginative
it's a journey for sure - you might also like what @tinajordan writes - there are many poets on steemit who never get noticed but they are writing lovely poems.
As for rhyming, most people come to poetry through listening to popular songs and they feel that a poem needs to rhyme to be musical. But what they don't realize is that poetry creates its own internal music and doesn't need a melody or a rhyme scheme to make it pleasing to the ear. Some effects are subtle and touch us and we're not even sure why, but believe me, there is a skill beneath the words that reaches us at an almost subconscious level :)
Yes, it certainly is a skill I would need to learn :-) I will check out @tinajordan. Thank you :-)
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Nice poetry thnks for shearing .
Hey Dear Friends. I Did Up vote And i followed You Now Follow Me And Do This Same. Stay Active :)