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RE: Natural and Human Storms

in #poetry7 years ago

Hi, John.

I'm really glad I stumbled upon this poem. This is an excellent example of free verse and concise writing that I think quite a few could learn from.

Wind stepped is an excellent descriptor. This is truly what concrete imagery looks like. The off rhyme between long and pond is interesting. At first, it made me stumble, but the more I read it, the more than I like it.

The one thing I'm not sure of is the use of the storm as a point of action. The contrast between the storm, gentle flower, and blossoming is a bit too much for me. If the poem were to have to contrasting characters, I think it would be more effective.

Well written, well executed.

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thank you, @introvertfl for a very astute and insightful response. I use a lot of near rhyme to avoid the sing song effect of whole word rhyme

I also agree with your suggestion about contrasting characters - as it was, the poem came out whole and I left it raw - some will find it short - brief as men's love?...but honestly, a thing can be love;ly whatever its dimensions.

Thank you for the solid feedback

That's a wonderful way to put it. Perhaps you should write a poem on the subject of love's brevity.