What a tragic read. Very dark, indeed, though I don't think the images (though stunning) do the dark beauty of the poem justice (except maybe the penultimate one). I don't think you should condemn the crisis point either, though not condone it, either. One is free to strive, to hurt, but also be judged for it, I think, and held culpable.
What an interesting, turbulent thought process. I like the part about plans becoming violent failure very much, it's got a lot of potential.
What do you think?
Perhaps assuming the world's pursuing other plans is just a way of giving yourself absolution for not really pursuing your own newfound, or re-emerging plans. Why should I, if no one will care? And maybe that's true, but maybe it's not, and why take the risk, when you could at least strive?
I hope you're in a lighter place than the darkness of this poem hints.
Also, I'd never heard of this type of poetry before, so thank you for opening my eyes to that. It sounds really challenging, though, and I think yours came out even more beautiful for it. It doesn't stray or digress or focus solely on getting the 6 words in. If anything, the message becomes more clear as the poem progresses.
What I love about formal poetry is that it forces you to choose words you might not initially reach for--and so you often end up saying something you didn't mean, only to discover you did mean it, and even more. (If that makes any sense.) The Sestina is fun because it's not too sing-song rhymy, but the repeated words give it a meditative, liturgical feel.
Apparently you don't have to write a Sestina in meter, but I always prefer metered poetry. You can play the rhythm against the punctuation, and provide a fun kind of stumbling emphasis when you break it here and there.
Does Romanian have accented syllables, and therefore metered poetry? French and Chinese don't; I always wondered what it's like to read poetry in those languages. Apparently they just count the syllables.
I actually felt a little liberated by the ending. Like, if no one's paying attention, we can make whatever we want. What if there's no God, and there's no audience? What if we're the last poets on earth? Think of the freedom we'll have!
Thanks, always, for reading my stuff!
I think that's what I liked about it. For me, the sing-songy poems have always lacked something. And yes, Romanian does have accented syllables, unlike the French.
Disruptive, I should think? Since it goes against the way you understand poetry... I mean, it's one thing to agree (or maybe even like) that poetry doesn't need to rhyme to be poetry. But I think this takes one's understanding of poems a step further.
Don't we already? :)