The Ring

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)

Desert Wind.jpg

I am sitting on the crossroads, facing west.
I have been sitting here for an eternity.
All around me, buildings rose and withered away.
The people, they have run from the sirocco, knowing what it will bring.
They have fled, rather than face your truth.

I am sitting on the crossroads, eyes closed.
I breathe in the scent of your palm leaves, and carob fruit.
I sway with the jingle of ancient civilizations I've long left behind.
I lean forward, with the warmth.
I lean forward, and take flight.

Hawk into sunset.jpg

Image source.

West, I fly.
Like an arrow sped from your bow,
I fly.
My eyes pick out shapes and movement,
but I do not stop.
West, I fly.

The wind you summoned flits through my pinion wings.
Warm air lifts me higher.
I will not pause,
I shall not tarry.
Signs of you,
are my only query.

Ever west,
higher still,
I fly.

The sun cannot catch me.
Onward, I go.
West, I turn my eye,

Farther,
this bird of prey,
no matter the weather,
shall fly.

I close my eyes,
gliding into the full redness,
of the horizon's embrace.

Whale.jpg

Image source.

From the dark depths I rise,
I am seeking,
I am searching,
for a sound,
for a hint of light.

A hollow roar,
as I seek to draw breath,
I surge higher,
breaking the waves.

I have disturbed the boats,
a behemoth of the seas,
a mammoth of life,
I shoulder aside a ship.

I submerge once more,
and from within me echoes a wordless cry,
rattling glass,
shaking moorings,

I am booming,
in waters' vast expanse.
I am blooming,
shaking ocean's cold embrace.

Distance has no meaning,
as memory pulls me north.
I know what I seek;
What it is I've always sought.

North,
this leviathan,
goes forth,
seeking.

Arctic Wolf.jpg

Image source.

I breathe in
the scent of rotten leaves,
the aroma of a fresh kill.
Mother was here.

Gnawed bones surround me,
as I take my first steps out of this den.
Newborn, I open my eyes,
to take in winter's first light.

The sun.
The light reflecting off sister-moon.
Your glory, even reflected,
blinds me.

I spring on a south-eastern trail.
I hunt the sun.
I hunt spring and summer both.
A hare bounds forth.
A small life ends.

Bloodied and warmed,
I head towards your season,
I eat the miles,
sinking in freshly-minted snow.

I chase the birds' laughter,
I race a frozen river,
I hunt the shadow of a cloud.
Bloodied,
but still a cub.

East,
I scent your spring,
South,
I stalk your summer.

I grow,
I find life in death.
Low to the earth I go,
into promised yesteryears.

I close my eyes,
my nose scents you still,
this hunter of the tundras,
springs and summers with a will.

Desert market.jpg

Image source.

I rise from my seat,
I raise my eyes to the firmament.
I smile,
for your glory is reflected in the world.

Your wind pushed me,
as the western-heading wing-rider.
Your sound pulled me,
as the northern-bound monster of the seas.
Your scent had drawn me,
as the predator returning home.

Your will has taken me,
three-quarters of a circle.
And I turn around.

There you are.
There you've always been,
behind me,
an efreet and a djinn.

I lower my arms,
the heavens urge me forward.
I open my eyes,
and open them again.

With the desert hunter's eyes I look at you.
I am blinded by your brilliance.

With the whale's mouth I call to you.
I am deafened by your resonance.

With the wolf's nose I scent you.
I am intoxicated by your fragrance.

Blinded by your sight,
I see only you.
Deafened by your sound,
I hear only you.
Choked by your presence,
I feel and breathe only you.

Forever I have stood here.
The stars and sun and moon, wheel around us.
Life and death surround us.
Forever,
civilizations rise and fall,
and their remains ring us.

Forever,
and no more.
Forward,
I step.
To you,
I reach.
To your blinding hair of sun,
to your searing skin of snow,
to your scent of home,
to your sound and din
of kin.

I reach out to you,
I open my eyes,
I open my palm,
to give you,
what lies,
within.

Separator line_smallEST.jpg

This poem is the third inspired by, dedicated to, and written for @mamadini, shared with everyone else at her kindness. I actually hadn't written any poetry or prose since 2009, but when the muse comes, it comes a-knocking.

Also, thanks to @authorofthings in particular for helping me sand off the piece's rougher parts.

IOW COLOR LOGO.png
art and flair courtesy of @pegasusphysics

Top image's image source.

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A hunter for treasure has sailed from our shores on a fanciful frigate of might
and set off to find hidden gems of a poetic nature 'neath cover of night.
Just this morning we heard, oe'r the roar of the waves, that a poem to curate's in sight!
Well, this poem in question is yours, so this writ from the shores of the Isle of Write
is announcing deposit of five SBDs in your wallet: we hope that's all right.
Our anthology's filled with the poems of Steemit; black ink on its pages of white:
and if yours is included we're sure of the loudest applause that your words will incite!
We beseech you to navigate now to the Isle, making haste as a bird soars in flight.
As you traverse the ocean you'll see our tall palms; from your vessel, please safely alight.
@treasurehunter” you'll type to inform us you're here and your ship is all moor'd nice and tight.
Then as soon as we can, we will ping you to answer your questions both mammoth and trite,
and a verification of willingness we will procure with a flourishing rite
saying you will allow us to publish your "pome" in this tome of the Isle of Write!
(Be assured that, as author, you will be retaining your full and complete copyright.)

Follow this treasure map to the Isle of Write!


IOWMap-1080pColour.png

logo designed and created by @pegasusphysics

First time I'm seeing this missive, and it's certainly made me smile and chuckle.

I'll head over to the Isle, and since I too am a Treasure Hunter, I'll tag myself :D

With the whale's mouth I call to you.
I am deafened by your resonance.

Wow Thunder.... really wonderful, and the above lines stood out with a resonance of their own.

You know, I've mentioned it before, on another piece, but the whale part is the one I was the most uncertain about, and the one most people seemed to have liked best, out of the three animal segments.

Glad to hear the piece spoke to you :)

That line caught my eye, too!

Fantastic poetry @geekorner and (epic is definitely the word)at 158 lines it's the poem that just keeps on giving 😉

But seriously, I love the imegery and the use of poetic devices in this piece. Particularly, the personification of animals to show the journey/feelings of the poet-

From the dark depths I rise,
I am seeking,
I am searching,
for a sound,
for a hint of light.
A hollow roar,
as I seek to draw breath,
I surge higher,
breaking the waves.

Really nice!

<3 Thank you for all the kind words and support Raj!

And hey, it's the poem that kept on making me sweat as I wrote another line and another line :'D

And yeah, somehow I knew I needed the animal imagery. I don't even know where the idea came from, but it just seemed right, you know? Maybe it's when I thought of how I have so much to say, and thus wish to break the piece down into segments, while still making it all feel cohesive. I am not sure how writing one singular piece that does not "transform" midway for me would look like. I'm not nearly good enough for that yet.

And yes, it seems strong and vivid imagery may be one of my stronger suits as a poet :)

This is the greatest gift and it is truly epic!

The immersion is intense and fruitful -- poetic entanglements of woven vessels before the morning light and into the day, before the song of sunrise when all is silent but for a promise, the birth of something new on the horizon.
Yes.
The day is breaking and I hear a sound and smell sweet woods burning, wafting as I drift closer in from Solitarius Isle, from the void I see...
<3

Nothing like a poetic response, especially from you, who keeps dazzling me :)

I still wonder what a sweet wood burning smells like. During Lag Ba'Omer, we just burn any old construction wood around here :3

(you hear an engine rev and horn honk)
MEEP! MEEP!
(the window on the humvee rolls down to reveal a warm smiling face)
"Hello! I'm @shadow3scalpel and with the help of my protege, @chairborne, we are actively assisting veterans, retirees and active servicemen and women here on Steemit. We feel it is our 'duty' to support each other. Any questions or comments you may have, simply respond to this comment, thank you!"
(the window rolls up and the engine roars as it drives to the next person on the list)
Comment by @killerwhale. This is a opt-in bot.

wow!
I love reading the lines other readers pick out as their favorites. i spotted several but landed on these as my #1 favorite:
To your blinding hair of sun,
to your searing skin of snow,
to your scent of home,
to your sound and din
of kin.

A love poem - lucky the lover who hears such words!

I have to say Carol, that one of the best bits of writing this piece have been is seeing which lines spoke to different people. I am surprised the wolf got as little love as it did, and that the whale was so resounding a success.

But yeah, the final segment, when the speaker finally faces Her? That probably has my favourite lines altogether. The stanza you picked is also the culmination of quite a bit of the imagery and seeking and longing in prior segments, such as what blinded the wolf, the thing the whale cried for, and what we all long for.

And as to the "lucky one", I feel to be lucky to have been inspired to write this <3

I Love the Wolf
It's like a separate poem all together.
I'm as wolf-obsessed as I am lion-obsessed.
this is truly epic - a poem that requires many readings, and every time, something will catch our eye in a new way.

Dear @geekorner,
While sipping a strong cup of coffee I was taken on a global journey of the senses through your lines. The Western sun is tough for me to resist, and so I was hooked at the outset. I experienced a minor moment of confusion when I found myself suddenly under the sea, yet that state of pondering provided anticipation (with the support of photographic imagery) for future transitions. This stanza satisfied 2 questions: Will there be a southern excursion? What is the title symbolism?

Your will has taken me,
three-quarters of a circle.
And I turn around.

Congratulations on your poetic accomplishment!

Thank you! And well, the wolf went south-east. Though technically when I turn around I should be facing east, but I'm going to claim poetic freedom here :P

I'm glad you liked it! I added the images to break things up, but some of the early readers did convey a bit of confusion over the sudden transformation at the end of the second segment, before the rebirth as the whale.

As for the title, it has more significance in the piece, but rather than point it out, I'll let you find it on your own. And in case you think you've found it, know it has at least two more points of significance.

Thank you for dropping by, and for the kind words.

Oh yes, I understand there are multiple implications for the Ring with the 3/4 circle being my first aha.

I love the sense of movement and hope in this piece, especially these lines:

East,
I scent your spring,
South,
I stalk your summer.

Initially, I was intimidated by the length (that's what she said?), but found that the sense of journey kept it moving. Well done, poet warrior!

I will admit. I was intimidated by the length as well. I kept writing, and writing, and writing, and it didn't end. I guess I was going for eternity both within and without the piece, heh. I am used to writing extremely long pieces of non-fiction, as in, over 3k words on a movie, or on a single anime episode, or philosophy. But this... this was harder than most such things. Probably also because I'm less used to it.

I do hope people will give it a try, in spite of the length. I usually don't like images and such breaking the reading, but I know it helps make such things appear to flow better.

And thank you, fellow Seeker of Truth (Thank you Hearthstone :P).

This was a bit of a page turner. For n epic, this poem was very easy to read. I liked the intermittent use of rhyme and felt that it added to the metaphor of flight and movement. It's a good write. Congratulations on the selection. Well deserved.

Thank you very much for this comment, Moe. I know you have a hard time with longer pieces, so this means a lot coming from you in particular.

I think part of it is that those who write longer pieces tend to go not just for longer lines, but also longer sentences. A paragraph-long sentence is hard to read, and doubly so when split along multiple lines and using much imagery. Whereas this piece is given mostly to shorter lines.

And thank you for the well wishes and compliments :)

Huzzah! The Isle of Write cannot pass on this chance to Resteem yet another member's incredibly deserving and well-rewarded post. So happy for you, and happy for us to have your talents and kindness at the Isle.

Congratulations!

Thank you for the continued support :)

I reach out to you,
I open my eyes,
I open my palm,
to give you,
what lies,
within.

-- This one kills me to the bones. @geekorner

So many segments that are "core" to this piece, but I do always try to make the landing stick more than the others.

And the "within" here, hmmm. Within the palm, within the speaker. I too felt this in my bones, and to some degree, much of the theme of the piece was constructed to lead to that very finale.

מקסים, מקסים! אהבתי מאוד, גם את התמונות

Finding good images is hard. I really like the first one, of the desert, the buzzard, and the wolf, but added more to make it easier to read and navigate.

Glad to hear you liked it :)

Brilliant poem. I love the eagle and all that was not the bird mentioned thats what I imagined when I read it. Spread your wings and fly your talent is really good keep it up lovely :)

Hey, so long it speaks to you, and you can imprint your own images on the piece, that's quite high praise for a piece of poetry!

The reason an eagle really didn't work in my mind's eye is because an eagle mostly soars, rather than fly, and it's less of a bird of prey, more of a carrion eater. But I'm glad the piece spoke to your own internal imagery :)

WOW!!

So much to rap one's head around really...

Sometimes, just sometimes, effort gets rewarded. That is indeed incredible. Glad you liked it Yair! :)

Amazing. Some of these verses reminded me Wallace Stevens, you really gave me 10 minutes of peace thanks!

Thank you for the kind words! I'll have to look up Wallace Stevens. Amusingly, writing this piece has given me more poetry recommendations than actually reading poetry had before :D

*up shall we soar through the sky,we won't stop and can't be stopped by the thriving storm because we are freedom and the sky is our point of view"

Your poem is really exciting and educating and it's lengthy which is really hard for a lot of poet...... Awesome!

Well, it was really hard work for me too, and filled me with uncertainty. I've never written anything even close to this length before. I'm glad you liked it.

And yeah, everything seems to be more free from up on high :3

It was worth it and you're welcome 😊

From the dark depths I rise,
I am seeking,
I am searching,
for a sound,
for a hint of light.

Can't help myself be empty for a while and just read again and again that line. It's just remind us one thing, there's no any reason for us to be scared of for what tommorow will bring, may if we are in the very deep trouble in the present, all we need is to rise up and search for the new beginning, coz theres no reason to stop for there are a lot of unseen things this life may offer!

Thank you so much for the poem. It really gives us refreshment.

followed hope you'd followed me back. @thesuesej. And can visit my blog.

Im also writing my first poem. Thanks

But we also never let go of our past, which is also important to remember.

Thank you for the kind words and seeing an inspiration message here!

a bit long but full of personality and brilliance! 👍🏽

Hey, the longer it is, the more room it has to be filled with stuff! Or at least, that's the hope :D

This is absolutely sublime, we can feel the emotion through those brilliant words and totally successful photograph choice. Amazing, keep it up!

Thank you! I definitely feel too many people don't pay enough attention to their image choices. They can add, or detract, so you better make them count!

@geekorner
wow i'm awed in every angle of your poetry
The pictures collaborate with your work so lovely
I'm starting to follow and loved your works
I also been writing some, but you excel in many ways.
Looking forward to see more of your post
Try also to read my poetry works @davealemana
I believed your a critic, so I'm glad to be criticized. Thank you

Do tell me if there's anything in particular you'd like critique on, and consider joining the Isle of Write Discord channel to get more feedback!

And thank you, it always helps to draw inspiration from others, both for content, and especially in the case of poetry, for format, whether it'd be the use of rhymes, free-verse, or what have you.

hi @geekorner, I would like to join your discord channel.
Could you give me a link of the channel? I have search @isleofwrite on discord but i couldn't find it. I am eager to join the community. Thank you!

Hey Dave, just click on the "Isle of Write" image at the bottom of my post, it's a link invite to the channel :)

Wow thank you so much for responding :D

Every so often, there are words that stop you in your tracks, and you have to be silent and merely appreciate how they dance on and off the page. WOW.

Aw, shucks, thank you for the kind words!

Something to re-read. Nice work.

Thank you! Do tell me if re-reading reveals new messages.

Good post 👍

So nice
If you read it that time you feel like You part of this Poem

The length seemed daunting at first; I couldn't stop myself once I started. And I thanked myself for starting. Brilliant work.

Truly magnificent, I was checking out to see if I should post some poetry on here... this is very encouraging andd bought out so many emotions.
I don't think my poetry will come close to yours, but I'm so glad I came accross your master piece. Thank you for sharing x

@geekorner. Poets really shows how great and imaginative they are. i'm glad that you are one of them. you really encouraged me to make a poem. I hope you could also visit my blogs.

Looking forward to seeing your poetry, @aidguardian!

Your poem has a deep content, I think it is very well worked. I congratulate you. I invite you to know my blog in steemit.

It's very interesting and lovely poem . Beautiful work dear . Thanks for sharing .

Namaste

© Guy Shalev 2018.