love

- Do you believe in love at first sight?

  - And what, is it possible to believe in love?

  - I realized, true love, this is when every look first

  /Unknown author/

  

  ... Life sometimes puts us in a situation where you become unsure of your principles, principles and understanding of this very life. You consider yourself hysterical and nothing meaningful creation, but in fact everything just came Love, which you both want and fear, a grave illness and at the same time the greatest happiness. You yield to your desires and you go on the occasion of spiritual impulses, and afterwards you blame yourself for what you have discovered, become vulnerable, giving your own power to others, not being fully confident in his conscientious use of such a gift.

  ... You become somehow suddenly better, kinder, more honest, smarter, wiser, but as soon as the mind is connected, so unobtrusively, the fear of loss also comes, and your own selfishness begins to scream about your rights, at once you find yourself in a stalemate of contradictions between soul and brains. You laugh during quarrels and weep in moments of utmost bliss. You are afraid to lose the object of your adoration and at the same time you are jealous of the madman and arrange scenes.

  

  

  

  ... In her life there was a lot of good, but even more bad. And all because She too often went on about her feelings, she opened her heart and soul towards a fairy tale and romance, but met with calculation and cynicism. Or, perhaps, just no one could appreciate her nobility, refinement of feelings and see behind the protective mask of a Woman, or simply understand that she needs only caress and understanding. She was ready to make a happy man, but in this case, of course, in her tormented soul yet the desire to be happy itself was fostered.

  ... She had many men. The most different. But there was one thing in common with them: they were intelligent, respected but not loved. She eventually forgot how to fall in love, ceased to allow herself to dream and generally wish for something for the soul, from time to time, without much joy, satisfying the needs of the body. The reasons for that she found for herself so many that it was not possible to overcome them.

  ... She was intelligent and educated, strong in character and pretty cynical, while she was crazy tender, could be caring, delicate and sexy. Her contradiction was that with all her mind she was not able to adapt to the psychology of men and to understand what in them they might be attracted to, and what in all cases leads to a break. She wanted at the same time two impossible things to respect yourself as a person and love as a woman. This again and again brought a pain of disappointment and built a monolith of complexes, to fight with which it no longer could not have neither the strength nor the desire.

  ... She despaired. Tired. Has changed. She has long ceased to like herself. The most important thing was fear, which was not there before. She was afraid to start a relationship with a man she liked, because she clearly knew the scenario, thereby programming the outcome. Vicious circle. She ceased to be herself, realizing that such as it is, It is not needed by anyone. And she began to play in the game offered to her, painfully noticing that the line between her-actress and her-real is erased and already barely noticeable.

  ... She seemed delicate to people, but in fact She was afraid to express her feelings, pain, doubts, desires. She alone was responsible for everything and was mortally tired of wanting to see next to a strong, caring Man who would love Her and forgive numerous weaknesses and shortcomings. But, the right word, you will not go out on the street with a poster "I'm looking for a shoulder!"

  ... And here again. He appeared strong, honest and just, clever and noble. Simultaneously, quick-tempered, sharp, showing tender feelings towards her, and physical desire and friendly sympathy, and tenderness, and affection. Cruel? Perhaps And hopelessly beautiful. She herself did not notice how she was in this whirlpool once again. Again waiting and dreaming And, in fact, what? Everything will end badly again. For her. And most likely it does not matter. For him. Soon there will come again a series of lonely, hopelessly sad days. And then everything will happen again