Those who read my introduction blog might think this one might be regrets setting in late at night, the doubt.
and the fullblown knowledge that my life is in no way what we set out for when we embarked on this journey.
It´s quite the opposite.
I now know that my relationship with my boys is and will forever, be altered by what has happened.
Othen during a perioid of this story i was pretty close to drug induced suicide, i had been accused of smoking Cannabis, (proof? who needs that?) i former hard working, occasionally cannabis smoking father of two had over a perioid of months become a senseless needle junky.
i´ll admit right now. I am a stoner! but within months of government taking over our life we were deliberatly trying to escape the pain the only way we knew, and could.
It was at times of endeless hopelessness and regret, anger and sorrow... i will never find words to describe "the void".
And the gutwrenching knowledge that it´s your foult. and that i should have defended better, differently.
At those times i othen tought and repeated the poem for myself. even got so far as to create a facebook account for him.
Posting the poem and "Daddy loved you with all his heart, sorry i couldn´t protect you".
Well. Here is the poem, my reasons and relevance of publishing it here, understandable.
....
The poem touches me evry time... this was a rather hard day. but will be journaled, since we met the boys.
Hello, thank you for sharing your story with us,
I too have been through a similar situation 10years ago in Sweden, I used to smoke weed and my ex girlfriend wanted revenge for me leaving her so she told the CPS that I smoked weed, I had to do six months of tests to be able to see my child, of course I cleared the tests and they could not stop me from seeing my child.
I have again been through a similar situation, thus time the Swedish government threatened to take my children because we chose to homeschool them, I told my story and got a huge response. Since then I have started #familyprotection a support group for people who have had any dealings with the child protection services.
I think your story should be told and heard, if you were to write a post about your experience with your government i would make sure it gets noticed and hopefully you could get some much needed support and advice.
If you do write a post tag it with #familyprotection and it will get the attention it deserves.
Stay strong and never give up.
Bless.